


Just A Crush

by some_mad_lunge



Category: Emmerdale
Genre: Alternate Universe, Family interference, First Crush, Good luck keeping these two apart, M/M, Misunderstandings, Sort Of Coming Out, Teen Robert Sugden, That shit is fated, Young Aaron Dingle, kids to adults to soulmates, one I made up
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-03
Updated: 2020-02-03
Packaged: 2021-01-21 01:56:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 30,600
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21291749
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/some_mad_lunge/pseuds/some_mad_lunge
Summary: Aaron Dingle does not have a crush on Robert Sugden. He's not a kid anymore, he's moved on.But Robert's back home and just realizing how grown up Aaron actually is. Now if only he'd stop avoiding Robert and let the guy ask him out already.
Relationships: Aaron Dingle & Victoria Sugden, Aaron Dingle/Robert Sugden, Andy Sugden & Robert Sugden, Chas Dingle & Sarah Sugden
Comments: 128
Kudos: 460





	1. When We Were Young

There was a monotony to Emmerdale that appealed to most of its residents. Farm work to be done, sweets to package, a pint to be had and a cozy bed in an even cozier village. That said there were the few who enjoyed the snippets of drama, being a small hamlet there was always something tantalizing going on. Someone was cheating, someone was lying and they were always found out in the end. If you were lucky you happened to be sitting in the Woolpack when all the sordid details came out. If you were even luckier you already had your drink in hand so you didn’t miss a moment. No one ever wondered why the biggest of bust ups happened within the pub walls, they were too enraptured to think too hard about it.

Tonight was one of those nights. Pearl Ladderbanks was thankful she’d given her book club in Hotten a miss that Tuesday, deciding instead to have a glass of wine at the Woolie. She wouldn’t have missed this for the world, she just wished she had a pen and paper to make notes. Val would be horrified she hadn’t been here for this.

Sarah Sugden was sitting at the bar, talking in low whispers to Chas Dingle. Whatever they were discussing seemed intense, the two women thick as thieves, their children the best of friends. Rumour had it Sarah and her husband had been rowing a lot as of late, the more salacious tidbit was Sarah had strayed.

Then Jack Sugden barged in and the show began.

“You will not be taking my son!” Jack considered himself a man’s man, thought puffing his chest and shouting threats would get him what he wanted. That had never worked on Sarah. It was a wonder the two of them ever got together in the first place. Still his eyes looked ready to bulge entirely out of his head, his face red and his tone threatening.

The silence in the Woolie was instant, everyone turning their heads rapidly to look at the booming farmer, before whipping back around to stare at his wife.

Sarah Sugden was one of the finest women in Emmerdale, if not the finest in Pearl’s opinion, and she didn’t disappoint. She turned from the stool, her hand firmly in Chas’s across the counter.

“I will be taking OUR son. It’s what he wants.” Her voice was clear and strong, Pearl almost clapped in solidarity.

“He needs to learn to be a man, what could a whore like you ever teach him?” The collective intake of breath in the room was audible. James Barton started to stand from his seat in a booth before his wife grabbed his arm and pulled him back down.

Sarah just stayed seated, her usually kind voice dripped with venom.

“More than you ever could Jack Sugden, or would you like me to tell everyone in the village the kind of man you are? The kind of father you are?” 

Jack’s face instantly changed to one of trepidation, his eyes suddenly darting around the pub, as if he’d just remembered where he was, that they weren’t alone. He swore then, clearly the only move he had left, before turning on his heel and exciting as quickly as he arrived.

There were a few minutes of silence, the village on a whole holding their breath. Sarah sighed, looking around the room herself her voice held a hint of humour. “So Jack and I are getting divorced if anyone was wondering.”

There were mutterings and a few applauses, Sarah drank her wine and Pearl smiled. That is until she saw little Victoria Sugden standing in the alcove to the back of the pub, her best friend Aaron Dingle with his arm around her shoulders. The little girl was crying as she turned and ran, Aaron hot on her heels.

Pearl felt for the girl, she really did, but she was barely 10 years old. She would be alright in the end, especially with a mother like Sarah. The Dingle boy she spent all her time with was a bit of a hooligan but she’d grow out of him soon enough.

**********

Aaron kicked at the dirt path that led to the Sugden farm as he waited for Vic to meet him halfway. He rarely saw her anymore, not since she moved with her mum and Robert to Hotten. It wasn’t far, but for a 13 year old it may as well have been the other side of the world. Aaron’s Mum fussed too much, wouldn’t let him ride his bike outside the village limits. Of course he did, but she was just none the wiser most of the time. Unfortunately he only saw Victoria on the weekends she visited her Dad and her other brother Andy. When Vic wasn’t in Emmerdale Aaron spent a lot of time alone which he didn’t mind if he was honest. He wasn’t like a lot of the boys in his class. Sure he liked cars and video games and blowing things up but all anyone wanted to talk about was girls. 

Aaron didn’t really understand it if he was honest. He liked Vic well enough, she was his best mate, but his Mum was always teasing him they’d get married one day. Sarah Sugden was still her best pal and Aaron had heard them whispering once about being grandma’s to the same babies. Aaron and Vic’s babies. Ew.

Ross Barton told him he should kiss Victoria, because then he’d understand what the fuss was about. Ross had kissed two girls in their class already so he was the expert, everyone said so. 

Maybe he’d grow into it? His stepdad Paddy told Aaron he could be a late bloomer. But there had been something else behind that smile, like Paddy had been waiting for Aaron to say something else. He thought simply saying, “I don’t like girls,” would be explanation enough. What else was there to say?

Maybe he’d ask Vic to kiss him, maybe once he did it then it would make sense to him. She was his best mate, he’d do it if she asked.

His thoughts were muddled until he heard the sound of an engine, looking up to see one of the Sugden tractors come into view. Aaron expected to see Andy with Vic in his lap, he’d drop her off to meet Aaron on occasion. He’d hand them a few pounds to get some candy before making them promise to stay out of trouble. Aaron liked Andy, he was a nice bloke, nicer than Mr. Sugden was anyway.

As the tractor got closer Aaron realized it wasn’t Andy but Robert behind the wheel. Aaron hadn’t seen him in forever, he never came to the farm to visit, it was no secret he basically hated his Dad. 

Aaron told himself it was the surprise that had his stomach feeling weird, like he felt after his Mum drove too fast down winding roads. He had always liked being around Robert. Sure he was older but he always made time for Vic, and therefore Aaron too. Robert was always so confident and sure of himself, and he had cool hair. Aaron wanted to be just like him one day.

Vic waved at him happily as Robert turned off the engine and help Victoria climb down.

“Aaron, Robert showed me how to drive the tractor!” Vic scrambled over the small wood fence, bumped Aaron in the shoulder in their typical greeting. He wasn’t paying attention though. Robert was smiling at him, thumbs hooked into his jean pockets, looking so…

“Hiya Azza.” Robert was the only person Aaron ever let's call him that, at least after he turned eight and decided to was too grown up for the nickname. He’d forced everyone out of the habit, just not Robert.

For some reason Aaron felt a burning in his cheeks and looked at the tractor, the only thing in his view that didn’t make him feel nauseous. Vic, just kept nattering away.

“Rob came to help out this weekend, make some money because he’s going to London in a few weeks. University like a posh man.” 

This didn’t surprise Aaron. Robert had always been smart, brilliant actually. Not in a bookish way, more like he could always look at any situation and use it to his advantage. Aaron was 13 but he wasn’t stupid, he saw it even if others didn’t.

“Shut up, Vic. Be back for tea or Dad will tear a strip off me.” Robert sauntered away and Aaron watched him go, feeling a little sad that he hadn’t said anything. He let Vic grab his hand and pull him back down the pathway.

They ended up by the creek, throwing stones and jumping over tree roots. Vic was talking about how much she still hated her school, she didn’t like any of the girls there. She missed Emmerdale.

“Well, then be friends with blokes like me.” Aaron felt like this was the logical conclusion. Instead Vic huffed and flipped her ponytail at him.

“Aaron, I can’t be friends with boys anymore. Not if I want to date them.” Aaron felt his stomach drop again because he didn’t want to lose Vic too. This girl/boy stuff was already confusing enough, he couldn’t lose his best mate.

“What so you ditching me now then?” Aaron tried to play it off, pretend like he didn’t care but Vic, she always saw right through him.

“No, you prat. You’re my best mate, I don’t want to date you. Yuck.” She scrunched up her face at him and made him laugh, lessened the knot in his chest.

“Yeah, well I don’t want to date you either. Girls are just…” He trailed off because he didn’t know how to finish the sentence. Girls were girls, and somehow that definition didn’t mean to him what it was supposed to.

“Rob’s has a whole bunch of girlfriends since we moved. His newest one is a right slapper. She’s always hanging all over him.” Victoria did a dramatic shudder for emphasis. Aaron ignored that uneasy feeling that was back and sat beside her on a log.

“Have you ever kissed anyone, Vic?” He watched her cheeks turn pink and took that as a yes. So she was normal then, not like him.

“What was it like?” 

Ross had said it was pretty cool but Aaron thought it looked funny. Why would anyone want to share spit?

“It was nice. I mean it was only one time, a stupid boy in my class who won’t talk to me anymore.” She picked up another rock, lobbed it into the water.

“But like, you’d actually want to do it again?” 

Vic looked at him then, square in the face, and smiled. Then she grabbed his face in her hands and pushed her mouth hard against his. It was over quickly, Aaron hadn’t even closed his eyes when she pulled back and smirked at him. He wiped at his mouth with the back of his hand, grimaced.

“What did you do that for?” 

Vic laughed and patted his knee, were all the Sugden’s this confidant?

“To show you it’s okay if you don’t like kissing girls.” She scooted over and leaned her head on his shoulder, wrapped her arm around him.

But Aaron was supposed to like kissing someone wasn’t he? And if he didn’t kiss girls who was there left to...oh. Oh.

“Mates for life right, Aaron?” Vic’s voice was a whisper, like she knew he needed it.

He leaned his cheek on the top of her head. Thought about how she’d be going back to her Mum’s house the next day. How it would be weeks before he saw her again. “Right.”

**********

Aaron was quiet during tea, his Mum and Paddy eyeing him up. They asked questions about his day, was he enjoying the summer so far? Did Vic have anything new to share? Aaron just grunted his way through his meal. 

He decided to not think at all about his first kiss ever and how disappointing it had been. Instead he went up to his room and played video games. It was Saturday night so it was busy at the pub, which meant Aaron could stay up late and maybe even sneak a soda or two. He crept down the steps, it was almost midnight and he didn’t want his Mum to know he was still up.

He was sneaking into the pub kitchen, hoping to get his hands on some pie when he heard a murmur of voices, and then something that sounded like Paddy did when his back went out at Christmas. Paddy had moaned a lot and made Aaron do everything from bringing him his tea to fluffing his pillows as he laid immobile on the couch.

Aaron pushed open the door slightly and saw two figures pressed together against the stainless counter. Marlon wouldn’t like that and neither would his Mum but he didn’t want to be found out. He was about to make a run for it when the flash of blonde hair made him pause.

It was Robert, and he wasn’t just kissing anyone, he was kissing a man. Aaron didn’t know who he was but Robert clearly did. 

He’d never seen this before, men, together like that. He’d heard about it, boys calling each other a fag like it was the worst insult in the world. He hadn’t thought about it, hadn’t wanted to. But seeing it, seeing Robert, it was like suddenly kissing made sense.

Then Robert’s eyes opened and locked with Aaron’s, the panic so clear on his face. It made Aaron scared. Scared enough that he ran back up the stairs, shut his door and curled up in his bed. He pulled the covers over his head and squeezed his eyes shut, trying to forget how nice kissing a boy had looked.

How nice kissing Robert had looked.

*********

The next day Aaron stayed in his room, even though his Mum nattered at him to go enjoy the sun. He finally came down for some food and found Robert sitting on the sofa, nervously rubbing at his knees, looking at Aaron with that fear on his face again.

“Hey, Azza.” He gave Aaron a soft smile but Aaron could only stare blankly at him. He didn’t want Robert to be mad at him, he didn’t want Robert to be afraid of him. Mostly Aaron didn’t want to get into trouble.

Aaron shoved his hands into his short’s pockets and looked at the ground. 

“Did you tell my Mum you caught me in the kitchen?” 

Aaron was imaging a week of no video games and spending his days helping Marlon wash dishes. He hated helping Marlon.

A laugh made Aaron looked up, relieved when he saw the fear gone from Robert’s eyes.

“I was going to ask you the same thing.” 

Aaron wanted to forget any of it ever happened, wanted to not look at Robert and see him kissing anyone, boy or girl.

Aaron’s mum took that moment to come in, smiling when she saw Robert and going to give him a hug.

“Oh honey, it’s so good to see you. What are you doing here, don’t you have to get back to your Mum’s?” 

“Yeah, no I just stopped in because…”

“Robert’s going to teach me to drive the tractor!” 

His mum and Robert both looked at him sharply, everyone knew Aaron hated farming, everyone. He almost hated it more than Robert. It was the only thing he could think of in the moment.

“Umm, yeah I was supposed to this weekend but Dad was on the warpath. So I promised Azza here we’d do it next time. That is if you’re okay with it Chas.” He gave Aaron’s mum a smile, the one no one in Emmerdale had ever been able to resist.

“Oh of course, I trust you. I have to get back, tell your Mum to call me.” She patted Robert’s arm and the have Aaron a pointed look. “And you are going to clean your room today, no excuses.”

She was gone as quickly as she came.

“Aaron...I...thank you. You’re a good kid.”

“Whatever.” Aaron didn’t want to be a kid. He definitely didn’t feel like a kid. Not anymore.

“And I promise, next time I will teach you how to drive a tractor. It’s the only part of farming that’s any fun.” Robert smiled at him again, and Aaron felt like they were partners in crime. They shared a secret, even if Aaron wasn’t entirely sure what that secret even was.

Then Robert was gone and Aaron, well he was just left to figure it out on his own.

********

Aaron didn’t ever get that tractor lesson from Robert. In the end it was Andy who showed him a few weeks later. Not long after that Jack Sugden died, Sarah and Vic moved back to the farm to help out Andy, and life just went on.

Aaron spent the rest of that summer and a few years after that accepting that he liked boys, and that was as okay as it was ever going to be. He had his first real kiss at 15 in the locker room at school with a fit football player that made his knees weak. He left school after that, deciding to work in his uncle’s garage over college.

He came out at 16, when he had enough knowledge under his belt that he could run if he had to, if he was made to leave. It had been a real worry, a thought that kept him up at night, but in the end it had been a needless one. 

Vic has known, he’d told her years before, and she kept his secret like all best mates do. His mum and Paddy just hugged him and told him they were happy he finally told them. Seemed they’d known, maybe even before Aaron had. Sarah even had him over for dinner one night, told him all about her cousin who was gay, about how he had a partner and some kids. How she could give Aaron his number if he ever needed someone to talk to. 

Everyone still loved him. He was still Aaron.

Everyone else in the village seemed to take in stride, but Aaron was willing to fight it out with his fists if necessary. He wasn’t ever going to moon over a bloke in the Woolie like Vic but he wasn’t going to be ashamed of it either.

As for Robert, well Aaron saw him from afar once or twice over the years. He was in school in London and visited rarely, though Vic was ecstatic everytime she got a call or text from her older brother. Robert came home for a summer one year but by then Aaron had his first real boyfriend, an older guy who had his own place. Aaron spent that summer working and then driving into Hotten, spending his nights happily fucked out and blissful. By summer Robert was gone and the relationship had ended, but Aaron wasn’t sad about either fact.

Then Aaron and Vic took a backpacking trip to France for a month. Aaron met Ed and decided to stay. For two years. Vic and him Skyped all the time, she was always his best mate. He pretended to act surprised when she told him that Robert had come out to the family as bisexual, introduced them to his boyfriend at the time.

When things with Ed ended Aaron went back home, went back to work at the garage and spent his nights out on the pull or hanging with Vic. He got pretty chummy with her boyfriend Adam, so much so that the three of them got a place in Emmerdale together.

He was happy, as happy as he expected to be at 24. If anyone mentioned Robert he was always glad to hear the guy was doing well, working in some sort of IT job. Aaron didn’t compare men he dated and men he slept with to the memory of Robert Sugden. So what if he had a thing for blondes with light eyes, he had a type. He certainly didn’t find himself smiling at the photo of Robert that Victoria had up on their fridge everytime he got a beer. Aaron honestly didn’t think about Robert at all really, but when he did it was always a little nostalgic.

Robert Sugden, the first person Aaron Dingle ever wanted to kiss.

**********

Robert imagined that for some moving back home at 30 would feel a bit like a failure, and maybe for them it was. Still Robert had a tendency to believe in serendipity, that things happened when they were supposed to. His relationship with Chrissie had ended a few months prior, and since she was his boss he got a nice payout with his termination package. Enough money that he’d had been able to set up his own consulting business, which had always been his ultimate dream. 

He’d been living out of a furnished flat since he’d left Chrissie’s London townhouse, debated buying a place of his own when Andy had reached out asking for help. The farm was struggling, Andy wasn’t as good with figures as Robert and well, it was family after all. Besides he missed Andy, they kept in contact as much as they could but now that Andy was trying to juggle the farm and his kids it was getting to be a bit much. Andy had taken on the load so Robert could chase his dreams in the big city, it was now time to repay the favour.

But if Robert was entirely honest he just missed home. He missed the people and the quiet, he missed his siblings, he missed his mum. Robert had thought he couldn’t be himself in Emmerdale, not really, not when his father was the way he was. Everyone thought Robert was this cocky smug lad, and in a way he had been, though he would have called most of that a facade.

Once in the world on his own he’d embraced it all, his intelligence, his bisexuality, who he was. He’d always have some regret where his father was concerned but he knew enough that it wasn’t his regret to have. No, that was all on Jack.

And now, now he was just Robert Sugden and he was going home, for good. Or he would be if his car hadn’t decided to die when he was 20 minutes outside the village limits. His Porsche wasn’t exactly made for farm life and he had planned to sell it eventually. Okay, more keep it and buy something else he’d use more regularly. He loved the car but maintenance was a hassle, and expensive.

He had hoped to surprise everyone, the weren’t expecting him for another month but he’d realized there was no purpose in waiting. He hoped Dingle Garage hadn’t changed their number, it was one of the few Robert still remembered from the farm days.

“Yeah?” The voice on the other end of the line was gruff, deep and gave Robert a little shiver.

“Right, is this still Dingle’s Garage?”

“Yeah.” 

Okay, not the friendly sort. Probably related to Cain.

“Right, this is Robert Sugden, my car broke down. I’m about 20 minutes outside of Emmerdale, the north pass. I need a tow.” 

He heard some rustling, and then something that sounded like a slurp. He wrinkled his nose.

“Kay. See you in a bit.” Then the line went dead. Oh yeah, whoever this guy was he most certainly was related to Cain.

Robert passed the time by responding to emails, thankful the reception wasn’t as spotty as he feared. It didn’t take too long until he heard the rumble of a truck engine. He climbed out of his car and leaned against the door, wondered who was going to be the first villager to welcome him home.

The smile on his face died when he saw who got out of the truck. It wasn’t someone Robert knew, he was pretty certain he’d never forget that face.

There were good looking blokes and then there were good looking blokes. This one blew them all out of the water. He had closely cut dark hair, dark stubble and arms that filled out his black Henley in a way Robert wanted to memorize for posterity. His coveralls were tied at his waist, he had a line of grease down one leg and powerful walk that made Robert stand up straighter.

When the man got close enough Robert couldn’t believe how blue his eyes were, he didn’t know you could have eyes that colour. They reminded him of someone, he just couldn’t put his finger on it. 

He reached out his hand, wouldn’t do to be impolite to the fit mechanic he most certainly wanted to get to know better. “Thanks for getting here so quick, Robert Sugden.”

Those eyes flashed with amusement before he rubbed his hand on his shirt and then shook Robert’s firmly. “Yeah, I know.” 

Robert was still sort of stunned by the sensation of those calloused fingers against his palm but mentally righted himself when he got nothing more than a raised eyebrow.

“So what’s the problem?”

Yes. The car.

“Not entirely sure. I lost power, might be the battery. I don’t get to drive her much in the city so she’s not used to a long haul.” 

That got him a brisk nod, “Pop the bonnet?”

Of course, Robert should have done that already. He gave the mechanic a few minutes, thought out in his head topics to discuss on the ride back in the truck. He wasn’t usually this bad at flirting, or acting like a functioning human being.

“Right, looks to be the battery. Gonna have to tow it back.” The bonnet slammed down and Robert resisted the urge to flinch.

“Great, I…”

The honk of an oncoming car interrupted him, it pulled in and then his sister Victoria came bounding out of the car.

“Robert!” She basically leaped into his arms, hugged him tight.

“Vic, this is a happy coincidence.”

She looked at him funny, then glanced at the mechanic with a bemused grin.

“No you idiot, he called me to come out here and give you a ride. What’s wrong with your car?”

Robert looked at the curve of the man’s back as he continued to hook up the dead vehicle.

“Oh, you know him then?”

Vic looked at him stunned, and then burst out laughing.

“Hey Grumpy! Do I know you?” She shouted it so loud Robert cringed as the nameless man whipped his head up. He straightened, crossed his arms over his chest and winked at Victoria.

“Would hope so, or else our living arrangement would be pretty awkward.”

Oh God, had Robert been checking out Victoria’s boyfriend? No, she said Adam worked at their mum’s farm, grunt labour. That he had brown eyes and...that meant...

Robert blinked a few times. “Azza?”

Victoria laughed again, clearly tickled by Robert’s amazement. Those blue eyes seemed to stare into Robert, the amusement in them suddenly gone.

“Just Aaron now, mate. Welcome home.”


	2. Somebody Told Me

It was weird how natural it was to slip back into one’s childhood home. How everything was the same even if some of the furniture was different. It was the feeling of it, your safe place. Then again, when it came to Robert it was wherever his mum was. 

He’d been hugged within an inch of his life, then she’d fretted because she hadn’t completely finished getting his old bedroom ready. She kept touching his face, his arm, glowing at him and call him “my boy.” Andy came in from the fields for tea, wrapped Robert in a tight hug before sitting down and laughing at Robert’s inability to recognize Aaron _fucking_ Dingle.

“He’s basically our other brother, Rob.” Andy smirked over his fork and Robert instantly seized at the thought.

“Not to me.” 

He didn’t mean for it to sound so harsh, but it did, enough that his mum looked at him sharply. He opened his mouth to explain, how he wasn’t entirely sure, when Andy started talking about something else and the moment was gone. 

Aaron Dingle didn’t stay far from Robert’s thoughts over the next week, even if the man himself seemed to have done a disappearing act. He went to pick up his car, caught up with Cain but Aaron was nowhere to be seen. He stopped at the Woolie, had lunch at the bar and chatted with Chas. She’d cooed over him almost as much as his own mother had. 

Robert went everywhere over his first couple of days back in Emmerdale and he ran into every other villager possible, but no blue eyes in sight. In the cafe he heard Brenda complaining as she wiped a table at how messy Aaron was with his breakfast dishes. He went to the field to help Andy with some fencing and was told he’d “just missed Dingle”. He’d even gone to Vic’s for dinner with her and her boyfriend. Adam was all right but other than a photo of Aaron on the fridge the mechanic was nowhere to be found.

The photo was striking though, Aaron’s head thrown back in a laugh with Adam’s arm around his shoulder. He was gorgeous and Robert could only imagine what it would be like to witness that joy in person. When he noticed an older photo of himself and Andy hanging by a magnet he couldn’t help but smile. It was good to be home.

So he did his best to push the thoughts of Aaron out of his mind. It was doubtful that Robert was being avoided on purpose and their paths would intersect soon enough. He needed to focus on why he was back and that meant helping his family.

He spent another week shut up in tiny office on the farm, receipts and ledgers littered around him. Their father had been old school and Andy wasn’t much better. Slips of papers in messy scrawl wasn’t much of a way to run a business. This at least was something Robert was good at. Once he got it organized he managed to get it all into spreadsheets. The good news was that things weren’t as dire as Andy feared. The bad news was it still wasn’t great but it could be turned around. A lot of hard work, some serious decisions and they would get there. He’d make sure of it. It’s why he was home afterall.

They’d talked it out as a family, which included Adam Barton now for some reason. He didn’t hate the guy and he did help out in the fields but Robert worried Vic was maybe getting a little too serious too quickly for his liking.

Still it went well, he’d worked out a budget and there was the possibility of selling some land they weren’t using if it came to that. Andy wasn’t keen on the idea but losing the farm wasn’t a better option either. They’d put it to a vote (Robert shooting Adam an evil eye when he raised his hand in agreement) and decided to re-evaluate in two months time after implementing the changes Robert had suggested. 

“You could be nicer to him you know.”

Robert was helping his Mum make tea alone in the kitchen, everyone else watching the game in the lounge.

“To who?” 

“To Adam. Your sister cares a lot about him.” She put a hand on his shoulder, gave it a squeeze. “Enough that I expect an engagement before the year is up.”

Robert winced at her words.

“Don’t you think she’s a bit young to be making that kind of decision?” Vic deserved the best and Robert wasn’t sure Adam was it.

“You knew when you were at that age what and who you wanted.” 

“That’s different.”

“How do you figure that?”

Robert watched his Mum blow on her tea before taking a sip, her eyes never leaving his face. She never missed a beat, and she could always read him like a book.

He didn’t have an answer so he just shrugged his shoulders.

“You wanted to get out of here and see the big city, prove yourself. You did it. Vic has always wanted to settle down, have a brood of her own. Just because your dreams are different doesn’t mean they’re not equally important.” She palmed his cheek in her comforting way. “And I’m proud of all my children.”

“But I’m your favourite right?” It was an old joke and it got him her half smile and an eye roll.

“You will be if you give Adam a break. Even Aaron adores him and he basically hates everyone.” 

“Oh well if he says so.”

He didn't mean for it to sound bitter but it did, because somehow Aaron is almost more a part of his family than he is. And that felt weird. It just added to whatever it was about Aaron that Robert couldn’t put his finger on.

His Mum opened her mouth and he figured he was about to get a set down. Instead she stopped herself and gave him a sidelong look, the kind when she had a secret she’d never share until she was good and ready. He knew he was in trouble and it all becomes clear when she exited the room, her voice loud over the game playing on the television.

“Vic, Robert wants to take you and Adam to the pub. Pints on him.”

***********

Aaron wasn’t avoiding the return of Robert Sugden, he just wasn’t embracing it either. Seeing him again had been humorous at first but when he realized that Robert truly didn’t know who he was it had...well it had stung. Aaron had been carrying around the embarrassment of that everyday since until it was replaced with anger at feeling any of it to begin with.

Which was stupid, he knew that. First of all, he wasn’t a kid anymore, and he didn’t honestly care what Robert thought of him. Aaron didn’t care what anyone had to say about him and how he lived his life. But for some reason Robert brought up feelings Aaron didn’t want to look at too closely, and avoidance seemed like the easiest route to go.

But was he really that forgettable? He was Vic’s best mate. He’d probably had more dinners around Sarah’s table than Robert himself. He knew he was in pictures up at the farm, he knew he was on all the Sugden family’s social media. Not that Andy did more than share photos of fields and his kids. But Aaron was there, always. And Robert still hadn’t seen him.

It was like being thirteen all over again. He hated it.

Which was why he was coming home with sun after his third night on the pull in the two weeks since Robert had been back. He never brought men to Emmerdale, it was easier to make a quick escape. This one had been dark skinned, short but well built. The exact opposite of all things Robert, not that he had anything to do with it. Aaron had a good time and from the new number in his phone so had Adrian...or was it Andrew? 

Maybe he’d see him again. Maybe it was time to stop playing the game and have a real relationship. He’d avoided them since Ed, he’d been happy being free. He’d been fine being the third wheel to Vic and Adam, never feeling like he didn’t belong with them or that he wasn’t wanted. But Adam was making whispers about proposing and living with newlyweds wasn’t something Aaron imagined for his future.

The problem was whenever Aaron had ever envisioned his future it had always been vague, except for one thing. Namely one person. One that couldn’t even remember his face.

So yeah, Aaron wasn’t happy at the moment.

He was so wrapped in his thoughts he banged a little loudly into the house, swearing as he stumbled over a pair of boots in the entrance way. He took a minute to settle himself. Too much drink and some so-so sex was making him maudlin, which wouldn’t do. He just needed to sleep it off and get over the black cloud hanging over his head, the one with blonde hair and a smattering of freckles he wanted to count.

He found his way through the dark to his room, keeping the light off and closing his door as gently as possible. Vic could be a right pain when he woke her up before she wanted. He stripped and threw his clothes in the corner. His socks were giving him some trouble, or maybe that was the booze, so he flopped on his bed which felt oddly hard and lumpy. And then it spoke.

“Not that I’m complaining but maybe you should get off me.”

Aaron had never yelled so loud in his life. 

*********

He should have known better than to listen to Adam, but they’d drank their weight in beer and Robert was actually starting to like the guy. It’d been a long time since Robert had gotten that drunk, and he hadn’t thought twice about falling into the bed the giggling couple had led him to. Had he’d known it was Aaron’s he might have enjoyed it more. Or not been half naked under the covers. Or something other than listening to Aaron curse profanities, switching on the light and blinding them both just as Adam came bursting through the door.

Thank the heavens Adam was covered. Thank every damn thing holy that Aaron wasn’t except for a pair of boxer briefs and one sock. Robert took the opportunity to look his fill as his sister’s boyfriend scanned the room for danger.

“Jesus mate, are you alright?” Adam didn’t seem to grasp the situation or the look of horror on Aaron’s face when he realized who was in his bed. It was almost comical.

“What the fuck is he doing in my bed?”

Well Robert got his back up a little at that. Aaron should be so lucky. Honestly they both would be.

“You were on the pull, didn’t think you’d mind.” Adam didn’t seem to think it was a big deal and Aaron looked ready to punch one of them.

“So my bed is up for grabs? Christ.” Aaron grabbed a shirt off the floor and went to pull it on, stopping when he realized it wasn’t his. Because it was Robert’s. Which is how he ended up with his polo chucked at his head. By the time he righted himself Aaron’s chest was covered and it seemed a shame. A damn shame.

“Look, I’m sorry…” Robert didn’t actually feel bad but he didn’t want Aaron to have a reason to look at him like that. Like he _ loathed_ him.

“I’m going to have a shower, be clear of my room when I’m done yeah.” Aaron turned to leave, Robert getting an eye full of what his briefs did for his ass before the bathroom door down the hall slammed.

Adam just gave Robert a sheepish grin.

“Is he always like this when he doesn’t pull?” Robert found his jeans on the floor and yanked them on, desperately wanting to get out of Aaron’s warpath.

“Oh nah mate, he definitely pulled. He always does.” 

Robert didn’t know what to say to that but wasn’t given the chance before Vic stumbled into the room. She looked perturbed but still shot Robert a smile.

“Want pancakes?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I actually think I know where I am going with this now. Again not betaed so my apologies for grammar, spelling and overall meh.


	3. Smile Like You Mean It

“Good afternoon, Grumpy.”

Vic and Robert had a lot in common looks wise and the Sugden smirk was one of those things. Aaron used to think it was endearing. As of this moment it no longer was.

“Whatever.” He might of had his back to the couple as he made himself a brew but he could tell they were giving each other the look. The one where they communicated without words. Which meant...three...two...one…

“Right so, you ain’t still mad at us are you?” Of course Adam was the one to fall on the sword. “We didn’t mean no harm.”

“And neither did Robert.”

Aaron turned around at Vic’s words, instantly regretting it when he saw the earnestness in both his mates’ eyes. God he wasn’t that bad was he?

“Nah you’re all right. Was just a shock.” He’d taken as long as he could in the shower but when he was finished he could hear Robert and Vic laughing away, the smell of bacon wafting up the stairs. Instead of joining them he crawled in his bed to sleep off his mood and the booze. Except his sheets didn’t smell right, because they smelled like Robert. And he didn’t want to admit it, especially not to himself, that it made him smile as he finally fell into a deep sleep. He knew he’d overreacted.

“Good, I’m off to work. Last thing I need is Marlon getting on me. See you both tonight at dinner?” Vic have Adam a kiss on the cheek before she raised her eyebrow Aaron’s way.

Shit. Sunday family dinner at the farm. Sarah did it once a month. Aaron had been going as long as he could remember. He had been as much a member of Vic’s family as his own and vice versa. But things were different now.

“I’m actually going to have to give it a miss this time.” Aaron said it softly, hoped Victoria would miss his words as she rushed out the door. She didn’t.

“Aaron, this isn’t because of Robert is it? You know…” She looked nervously at Adam, like her boyfriend would have the answer. 

“No no, just promised Cain I would finish up a car for a customer is all.” As lies went it wasn’t his best work but he hoped she’d buy it. “Tell your mum I’ll visit next week to make it up to her.”

Vic gave him a look, because she could always see right through him but she left it. For now.

“Right well, have a good day.” She gave him one last quizzical glance before she was out the door.

When she was gone Aaron let his shoulders slump as he sat with his brew at the table. Adam just kept staring at him.

“Mate, are you sure you’re okay?” 

“Yeah, course. Just a bit of a wild night.” 

“Oh nice one. You gonna see him again?” Adam raised his eyebrow expecting the same answer he got every single time. “Or just another heart lost to the wandering eye of Aaron Dingle?”

Aaron frowned as he looked into the milky contents of his tea. Was he really as predictable as all that? Maybe it was time to grow up. Or at least try.

“No, I probably won’t see him again but…” He didn’t even want to finish the statement. Admit that maybe he wanted to find someone to settle down with. Finally. “Might stop going on the lash. Maybe try an actual date for a change.”

He looked up to see the stunned expression on Adam’s face. Then slowly it morphed into a wide grin.

“Yes son! About damn time. You know Finn…”

“Stop right there. I ain’t going near your cousin slash brother with a 10 foot rope okay.” Aaron was very aware of Finn’s crush on him and had vowed long ago to never go there. Too messy. Way too messy.

Adam frowned at that but wasn’t deterred.

“Maybe Vic knows someone she could…”

Aaron growled and pinched his nose, blocked out whatever else Adam had to say. This was the last thing he wanted, people sticking their fingers into his life. 

Why hadn’t he just kept his mouth shut?

* * *

So now Robert knew for a fact he was being avoided. It had been three days since he’d gotten an eye full of Aaron Dingle and once again the man seemed to meld into Emmerdale’s corners. He was officially taking it personally, especially since his mum was starting to give him the stink eye. He finally cracked one morning over breakfast as she sipped her tea with a sigh.

“Mum, I told you, I didn’t do anything.”

He felt like a damn kid again, when no matter what he did it was wrong. It’s only ever been his dad who made him feel that way. Back when Robert used to care what he thought.

“I never said you did, Robert.”

She didn’t have to. It was written all over her face. For a split second he regretted coming home. Maybe it had been easier when he was on the fringes of the family. Being back here seemed to mess with the equilibrium of things. It stung.

Or it did until his mother smiled at him and reached her hand across the table to cover his.

“I have no idea why he hates me.”

“Who? Are you talking about Aaron?” Robert had to resist the urge to roll his eyes. His mum just tilted her head at him.

“Would it bother you if it did?”

“Well, you and Vic seem all up in arms about it.”

His mum made a noncommittal noise.

“What?”

“Sweetie, Vic and I haven’t been acting any different. You’re the one biting everyone’s head off if we so much as look at you sideways.”

Okay, she probably had a point. Aaron’s permanent dislike for Robert’s mere existence grated on his nerves. He was rude, and snarky and that had been the two vague encounters they’d had. 

He’d been such a sweet kid. Robert could remember the little bit of hero worship he saw in Aaron’s eyes. He wasn’t blind to it. It’d been nice at times, Vic and Aaron fascinated by Robert when he was nothing more than a farm boy who wanted more. 

And then that night when Aaron had caught him and that nameless bloke in the kitchen. He’d been reckless, too many pints and annoyed at his dad for one reason or another. It had been a thrill to kiss a man almost under his nose. Aaron catching them had been terrifying. 

He didn’t want to feel ashamed but he did, mostly because he let Aaron keep his secret. Which couldn’t have been easy for a kid.

It hit him then, like a ton of bricks and for a moment he was actually annoyed that it’s taken this long to figure it out.

“I think I have a way to fix it.” He bolted from his chair and gave his mum a quick kiss to her cheek before heading up to have a shower. He wanted to look presentable when he offered up his apology, the one that would hopefully get him back in Aaron Dingle’s good books. Return the equilibrium to his life and lessen the gnawing feeling in his gut. 

He’d dressed nice, but not too nice. Third date nice. He fiddled with his hair too much in his rear view mirror before taking a deep breath and entering the cafe. Treats in hand he straightened his spine and put on his most friendly face.

It disappeared almost instantly when the first sight he saw was Aaron standing with his arms crossed staring into an engine like it held the answers to life’s most difficult questions. He was wearing those coveralls again tied at the waist, this time a tight black shirt stretched across that chest. Aaron bit his lip as he stared down and something in Robert flipped, because in that second he realized he didn’t want Aaron to like him. Oh no. He wanted Aaron to _ want _him.

He felt like he was about to swallow his own tongue, let out a small cough to clear his mind and Aaron’s head whipped around to look at him.

Those blue eyes should come with a warning, especially when for a split second Robert thought he saw a flash of a smile, warmth and maybe even happiness to be seen.

But it was Aaron and suddenly a scowl was firmly in place. Robert missed spark he’d seen, he suddenly felt cold.

“Cain’s not here.”

“Not him I want.”

He wanted to kick himself for his use of words but Aaron was none the wiser, just tilted his head a little, the expectation clear.

“I got you a coffee, Brenda said it’s just how you like it.” The woman had battered on about the amount of sugar Aaron used. It seemed everyone in this village mothered the young man. It made Robert all the more fond of him.

Aaron wiped his hands on his shirt, clearly he wasn’t one for care of his clothes, and took the cup from Robert’s outstretched hand.

“Ta.”

Robert held up the small pastry bag in his hand as well, it was something flaky with loads of chocolate. That had to earn him some points, or so he hoped. Aaron peaked inside and Robert saw the small hint of a smile on that kissable mouth.

_ Head in the game, Sugden. _

“I need to apologize to you.”

Aaron stopped himself mid sip of his drink, eyebrows raised in question.

“When you were a kid, what happened, I never should have asked you to lie for me.”

He held his breath as he watched the emotions play out across Aaron’s face. Confusion, maybe a hint of anger and then finally a sigh. Robert just held onto his own takeaway cup for dear life. Then something slightly amazing happened and he finally understood why everyone had a soft spot for Aaron Dingle. Why everyone was so protective of him. Why they thought the world of him.

It was like the sun shining, it was like coming home. It made Robert weak in the knees and heat to spread through his limbs.

Because Aaron smiled at him, light in his eyes and those shoulders seemed to relax, like a wall coming down. He’d been attractive before but now, now he was devastating and Robert was pretty sure he’d just fallen in love. 

* * *

Aaron knew that he could be a moody git sometimes but even he was aware that he was pushing it lately. Add to the fact that Adam had told Victoria that their best mate was in the market for a boyfriend and all bets were off. He couldn’t even relax in front of the telly without his lifelong friend asking insane questions.

“What’s your type?” 

He’d almost spat out his beer as he sat up on the sofa, her feet kicking him to get his attention. 

”You what?” 

“Your type. I’ve been trying to figure it out all day. How do I not know this already?”

_ Because I made sure you didn’t. _

“I don’t know.” 

_ Your brother Vic, my type is your brother. _

“Give me something to work with here.” She gave him her biggest doe eyes and he rolled his back at her. He got a smack to his arm for his trouble and then she gave him a stern look. It reminded him of when they’d get caught doing something they shouldn’t by Sarah years ago, or more honestly a few months ago.

“I don’t know. Fit, not a prat.” 

“Aaron..”

“Vic…”

She sighed and shuffled down the cushions, curled into him and put her head on his shoulder. He liked to pretend he didn’t find her affection comforting but honestly it was one of the things he loved most about her and she knew it. She always gave him exactly what he needed before he knew he did. 

“I just want you to be happy, just as happy as I am with Adam.”

Aaron smiled in spite of himself. She was happy, and he was happy for her. She deserved someone who thought the world of her and treated her like a queen. Adam might be a daft idiot most days but he knew the sun rose and set with his girlfriend. He was Aaron’s friend but Victoria, well she would always come first.

“I will be Vic. I just...I mean it’ll happen naturally yah? Isn’t that what people say.” He thinks his Mum had nattered that to him once upon a time. He’d not really been listening, he rarely did.

She’d let it go after that, even watched his loud action movie without a complaint until Adam got in and offered to take them to dinner at the Woolie. Aaron had turned down the invitation, instead got himself another can and enjoyed the silence. Or tried to. It’d been easier when he’d not thought about his future in that way. He’d been happy living day to day, finding a warm body when he wanted one and just living. 

Then Robert had come back and shot that all to hell. He’d come to the realization that he’d been hung up on the idea of Victoria’s brother for a long time, way too long. Probably not consciously, he’d had Ed after all. Ed had been easy, nice. There was a spark obviously but they’d been too different in the end. They were still friends, texted on occasion. The break up didn’t even deserve the word. They’d just flipped the switch from lovers to less than. Aaron had loved Ed, but he wasn’t sure that he’d ever been in love with him. 

It made him kind of melancholy to realize that. It wasn’t that he needed some epic movie like romance but Robert had proved that the one thing Aaron never had been was memorable. 

After two more beers he pulled out his phone, he was going to open the dating app that he’d never admit that he’d downloaded if you put a gun to his head and finally get up the nerve to fill out a profile but self doubt got the better of him. He decided on Facebook instead. He scrolled past Andy’s latest post of some fields, Vic’s picture of the dessert she was currently eating at the Woolie and an old school friend’s lame meme. He ended up on his own page, his main pic that of his legs sticking out from underneath a car. Vic had taken it a while back and he’d thought it was funny.

As he’d scrolled through his measly posts and tagged photos he tried to find what it was about himself that made him fade away. But the more he looked, the less he found. He was tagged in a lot of things, mostly by Vic and Adam, occasionally his mother but even still his face was...well it wasn’t there at all. 

He knew he’d always avoided the camera, stood in the back of group shots, he almost never took a selfie. Actually, he wondered if he’d ever taken one. In every shot his head was down, or his face turned away. The nicest photo on there of him was him sitting at the pub, head thrown back in laughter with Adam’s arm around his shoulder with a smirk on his face. 

No wonder Robert hadn’t recognized him.

Suddenly he’d felt so ridiculous at getting so worked up by it all. It was a childhood crush, and he was just feeling out of sorts because his best mates were two seconds from getting married and moving on without him. Robert’s family was Aaron’s too and he needed to let the past slide, get over himself before Robert learned the truth. With that terrifying prospect he told himself that tomorrow, he was too drunk now, he would fill out that dating profile. He’d put himself out there and the chips would fall where they would. 

The next day he’d been trying to figure out a way to bridge the massive gap he’d made by being a twat to Robert, well everyone if he was honest, over the last few weeks. He was still mulling over the problem while starting at that motor, a simple oil change that he couldn’t get his mind to focus on. 

A cough had him looking over, Robert standing there with a sheepish look on his face, coffee in his hands and looking every bit the word _ fit _. He’d been surprised when he’d been given the peace offerings, especially since he was the one that should be apologizing.

“When you were a kid, what happened, I never should have asked you to lie for me.”

It wasn’t what Aaron had expected to hear and he’d honestly never thought about it. He’d been more hurt that Robert had disappeared from his world than anything else. God, he’d been such a gobby kid. So confused about everything, especially the way he’d felt about one Robert Jacob Sugden. None of that was Robert’s fault, and Aaron knew he needed to stop making them both pay for it. Instead he smiled and offered up his hand.

“Water under the bridge mate, no apology necessary.”

He watched something he couldn’t name flash in Robert’s eyes. Probably shock at the fact that Aaron wasn’t being an absolute prick for a change. He still looked a little dazed as they clasped hands, Aaron keeping it quick because there was probably grease all over his. Not because he liked how large and long Robert’s fingers felt in his palm.

“I should actually be the one saying sorry. About the other morning. I’m a bear when I don’t get enough sleep.”

Robert let out a small laugh and just like that Aaron knew it’d be okay. He ignored the fact that watching those green eyes twinkle made his fingers itch to reach out. He ignored the fact that he’d never liked men in button down shirts until this exact moment when Robert was filling one out perfectly. He’d ignore it all because then it would die and he could go back to his life just as it had been just a few short weeks ago.

But Aaron was just standing there like an idiot, letting Robert smile at him and smiling right back. Work, he needed to get back to work.

“Anyway, thanks for this,” he lifted up his cup, “But I should get back at it.”

Robert seemed disappointed for a second but then offered up another smile.

“We should have a pint sometime, I hear that’s what mates do.” There was an earnestness to Robert’s voice that would have been impossible to turn down on a good day. 

“Oh we’re mates now are we?” He was teasing and it made Robert’s smile grow.

“Yep. You’ll never get rid of me now. I’ll be making us friendship bracelets soon.” With that Robert turned and walked out of the garage. He seemed lighter after their interaction, no doubt thankful that Aaron Dingle wasn’t actively plotting his murder.

Aaron watched Robert leave, his jeans hugging his ass just right and his hair the perfect side of tousled. Yeah, he still looked like every daydream Aaron ever had. 

He was going to be fine, he’d get over this crush. Eventually. Probably.

_ Fuck. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My sincerest apologies for how long of a wait it was for this chapter. Big Bang and then the holidays caused a chaotic few weeks but I am back in the saddle. I am excited to dive back into this fic. Thank you for your patience and I hope you enjoy it!
> 
> (Again this hasn't been edited by an outside source so please forgive grammar and spelling and my inability to use a comma correctly)


	4. I Feel It In My Bones

Robert walked out onto the street in a bit of a daze. So much so that he almost knocked straight into his mother and sister as they strolled in his path. They both gave him matching stern looks.

“Did you just come from the garage?” His mum was watching him closely, probably to see if Robert had made things worse. He attempted to make his face impassive. The last thing he needed was her knowing exactly where his head was at.

“You didn’t upset Aaron again did you?” Vic looked worried, biting her lip as she glanced in the direction Robert had just come from.

He knew he should be offended, and maybe he was a little, but in the moment he was still spinning. Aaron’s smile flashed in his mind and he suddenly wanted to turn back around and see it again. Curl up near it. Live in the glow it gave off.

“Robert?” His mum broke him out of his thoughts, had him putting on his most innocent smile. He hoped it would fool her.

“No. I got him a coffee. We’re good. No one needs to worry about it anymore.” He held up his own cup, evidence of his good deed.

Vic let out an audible sigh, but covered it quickly with a smile. Robert’s mum, however, was looking at him oddly. He needed a subject change, and fast.

“So, what devious activities are you two up to?”

His mum slipped her arm into his, effectively taking him wherever the women in his life had originally been heading.

“We’re meeting with Chas and the rest of the ladies to finalize plans for the dance. It’s less than two weeks away and we’re hoping for a big turnout.” 

Robert didn’t even attempt to suppress his groan. Village life clearly didn’t change much and the summer church dance was obviously still an Emmerdale staple.

“None of that young man. We’re going as a family this year, and you are going to dance with your long suffering mother.” She let go of his arm as they approached the Woolpack and he knew there would be no way out of it. His mum didn’t put her foot down about too many things, not that Robert had ever been very good at saying no to her anyway.

Actually some of his best memories had come from that annual affair. When he was little his mum would dance with him, teach him the steps. When he got older and as girls (and boys) got more interesting Andy and Robert would steal drinks when adults weren’t looking. Flirt with anyone willing. One time they got so sloshed they passed out in the field behind the hall and their Dad almost lost his mind. If Rob remembered correctly he had his first kiss ever, with Nicola of all people, behind the curtains around the DJ booth at 12 years old.

It would actually be nice to have a reason to slip into a suit again. Trade in his jeans and work boots for a silk tie and well fitted blazer. Besides, he'd probably spend the evening with his siblings, and by extension that meant one scowling mechanic. Robert’s mind gave him a flash of Aaron filling out a crisp white button down, the sleeves rolled up on his forearms. Maybe a tie askew from fingers playing at it. Robert imagined those fingers were his own and had to suppress a moan that wanted to escape.

Thank God for his sister, unaware of the thoughts Robert couldn’t shake, impatient as always to get on with things.

“Come on Mum, the last thing we need is Pearl and Val being in charge of the music like last year.” Vic widen her eyes at Robert, no doubt that was a story he would hear all about later.

Rob’s mum pulled him down so she could press a kiss to his cheek. “I’ll see you at home, Andy has the kids tonight so it’ll be insanity.” Still she was smiling. Long suffering as she claimed to be he knew she relished in it. She loved having her babies around her, no doubt anxious for Victoria to add to the fold.

If she had the same feelings about Robert and the fact that he had yet to produce grandchildren she’d kept them to herself, at least for now. 

He watched them walk inside and for a brief moment he felt a little unsure what to do with himself. He looked back towards the garage, wondered if Aaron had eaten the pastry yet. Was he as big of a fan of chocolate as Robert was? Had he taken a bite and smiled that devastating smile? Thought about Robert as he licked….

He took a deep breath. It’d been too long. That’s what this was. Pent up sexual frustration. He just needed an outlet. 

He looked back at the garage one more time before climbing into his car. Hopefully Andy had some heavy lifting Robert could do, or maybe something he could swing a hammer at. Hard.

* * *

Aaron had seen Robert twice in the last few days, not that he was counting, because he wasn’t. They nodded at each other in a friendly way one afternoon when Aaron was out for a run. He was grateful for the excuse to keep going, because the blonde was the reason he’d started up the pastime again. Running helped him turn off his mind, gave Aaron a break from the constant nattering in his brain.

If he’d made a misstep in his pace when Robert smiled at him he would be loathe to admit it.

The second time he’d been propping up the bar and chatting with his mum like a good son. He was waiting for Adam who insisted they have a lads night just the two of them. Probably for the best since Victoria had opened up her big mouth and now Chad Dingle was all excited her “baby was getting out there and ready to find a good man.” 

His best mate was going to get an earful when Aaron got home. 

“Mum, just stop…”

“Can’t I be happy for you? For me? I want grandbabies.” It wasn’t like Aaron didn’t know that, she’d been telling him that since the moment he was out of nappies.

“Well you’ll be getting them from Vic before me.”

His mum froze mid wipe on the gleaming taps and turned to him.

“What? Do you know something?” God, she was probably two seconds away from pulling out her mobile and calling Sarah. They were dangerous, the two of them, always had been.

Aaron just rolled his eyes.

“I mean she’s the only one out of us that’s even in a relationship.” 

His mum let out a sigh.

“Don’t remind me. I don’t know what’s wrong with you boys. Handsome lot you are. Debbie could have done well settling with Andy.” She pursed her lips at him, never having fully forgiven her niece for ending it.

“They fought constantly. How many times did Debbie cause a scene in here when she was fit to be tied?”

“She was young then. She should have her brains about her now.”

Aaron let it go, mostly because if his mum was focused on Andy and Debbie’s love life than she wasn’t butting her nose into his. Just then Andy and Robert walked in, the brothers shoving at each other like they were kids again.

Robert looked up with a grin and they locked eyes. If Aaron had been a romantic type of fellow he would have said the world stopped spinning for a second. Maybe even have admitted that his heart did something fluttery in his chest. Instead he took a sip of his pint to soothe his suddenly dry throat.

“Speak of the devils.” Chas smiled at the brothers, already pulling Andy’s preferred brand.

“Some welcome that is, what we done now?” Andy shoved Robert again but widened his eyes when Aaron shook his head and mouthed the word “Debbie” behind his mum’s back.

Robert must have caught it too because he let out a laugh he unsuccessfully tried to smother. Andy shot his brother a deadly look.

“Go get us a table yah? I’ll bring these round.” Robert leaned on the bar, gave Chas his most charming smile as Andy made a hasty retreat. “We have some farm business to discuss. Might as well enjoy a pint while we do it.”

Robert glanced over at Aaron again, who was analyzing his glass, or pretending too.

“Alright?” The tone of that voice sent a shiver up Aaron’s spine. He made himself look at Robert fully. He had a genuine smile on his face, eyes soft. Probably left over from trying to sweet talk the woman who could make both their lives hell if she was in the mood to.

“Yah, just waiting on Adam.”

Robert opened his mouth but Aaron was saved from having to make conversation when Adam rushed through the door. He looked a little insane, wringing his hands and anxiously looking around the room. He stopped short when he saw Robert standing there, and for a split second Aaron thought he might run back out the way he came. Instead, he tilted his head to the corner of the pub and widened his eyes. 

_ Interesting _. 

“What’s up with him?” Robert had noticed Adam’s odd behaviour. It was hard to miss.

“Just Adam being Adam.” Or so Aaron hoped. He made his way to the table, could feel Robert’s eyes on him as he went. He sighed internally, the last thing he needed was the Sugden brothers on Adam’s case. They were overprotective of Vic to a fault. Not that Aaron could blame them, he was too. 

He slid across from Adam, careful not to slosh his beer, eyed up his second best mate.

“Getting a drink?”

“Yeah, yeah, I will do.” Adam looked shifty, his back to the room, fingers bouncing on the table.

“You okay?”

“Shhh!” Adam glanced over towards where the Sugden brothers were sitting, then back at Aaron with panic in his eyes.

“What did you do?” Now Aaron was worried, he’d never seen Adam like this before.

“What? Me? Nothing...nothing. Just need to…” He lowered his voice to a whisper, so quiet that Aaron had to lean in to hear him. “Ask you something. I need to ask you something.”

‘Why are you whispering? Is it illegal?” Not that Aaron would be against it, depending on the level of a charge he could be looking at.

“No...no. What? No. Keep your voice down. It’s a secret.”

“Then maybe talking about it in the village pub wasn’t your wisest decision.”

Adam was breaking out into a sweat. He wiped at his face and was seemingly unable to look Aaron in the eye.

“Mate, are you on something?” Aaron knew Ross did some dodgy drugs on occasion, but he thought Adam was smarter than his half-brother.

“I just…”

“Spit it out.”

“I need...I want..”

“To borrow money? Help hiding a dead body? The ability to use words like a normal human being?”

“Your blessing to ask Vic to marry me.”

Adam looked up then, a fierceness in his eyes Aaron had never seen before. If he’d had any doubt before about Adam being worthy of Vic that look of determination would have washed them all away.

He’d been expecting them to get there, he’d just not expected Adam to say those words. At least not to him. Aaron was surprised how emotional he suddenly felt and the sting of tears he had to fight against. 

“Mate...of course you have it. I wouldn’t be sitting here with you right now if you didn’t”

“Yah?” Adam looked relieved, though still a little like he was going to pass out.

“I’m made up for you, the both of you.” 

Adam let out a huge sigh, his demeanor changing in an instant, the jovial idiot Aaron was used to materializing in front of him.

“I’ve already spoken to her mum, almost bricked it. She said yes but it’s you and Vic you know. Didn’t feel right not talking to you too.” Adam smiled at him, genuine and happy. “I’d have you as my best man if I didn’t already know Vic’ll want you beside her.”

“That’s if she says yes, mate.” Aaron was a bastard, he knew that. 

Adam’s face fell instantly, that sick look back in his eyes.

“Oh god, do you think she won’t?”

Aaron couldn’t do anything other than lean his head back and laugh.

* * *

“Are you listening to me?” 

“Of course I am, field rotation. Fascinating.” Robert glanced over to the corner of the pub again. Aaron was beaming, animated and laughing with Adam. It was hard to tear his eyes away from the sight. 

Robert had the usually gut punch when he’d walked into the pub and seen Aaron sitting there. It was the first time he’d gotten an eyeful of the mechanic when he wasn’t greasy or sweaty. Not that he was complaining, he’d had some interesting daydreams the afternoon after Aaron had jogged past. His hair had been damp at the temples, cheeks flushed pink and eyes twinkling. Robert couldn’t help but imagine the same Aaron in a very different situation. 

But Aaron in a black jumper tight against his chest, hair styled and casual lean against the bar had almost been Robert’s undoing. He had to stop himself from watching Aaron’s fingers tap against his pint glass and licking his lips.

Adam had looked shifty from the start but he’d watch the mates whispering to each other until whatever the problem had been appeared to pass. They were now a few drinks in and Aaron’s eyes were sparkling, his lips wet and smiling. How was Robert supposed to pay attention to his brother when _ that _ was on the other side of the room?

“No no...I want to talk to you about something personal.” 

Robert eyed up his brother. Andy had always been the more outwardly sentimental and emotional of the two. You never had to wonder what Andy was thinking or feeling, it was right out there for anyone to see. Especially Robert, who knew his brother better than anyone else and could read him like a well worn book.

“You okay? The kids?” Robert had never been the most involved uncle, away from Emmerdale as he had been. He was doing his best to make up for it. Little Sarah and Jack seemed to like him well enough. He was fond of Jack most of all, rough and tumble like Andy but with a quick mind that reminded Robert of himself at that age. 

“The kids are great, they’ve really handled me and Debbie separating better than I hoped.” Andy had hated when him and Debbie had called it quits for good two years ago. He wanted his children to have a stable and happy home life. Not to mention the fact that Andy was still mad for the woman. Robert wondered what it was in the Dingle genetic makeup that brought Sugden’s to their knees.

“And?” Robert knew his brother was leaving something out, something big.

“Well Deb and I have been getting on really well. She said she’s even been doing some therapy. The other day she apologized for some things that went down between us. She even wants us all to go to the dance together, for the kids.” Andy rubbed at his beard which was a telltale sign that he was confused.

“You think she wants it to be a date?”

“I dunno, Rob.”

“Do you want it to be a date?”

“Would it be so bad if I did?” 

Andy had spent many a night on the phone with Rob when the axe finally came down on his relationship with Debbie. He’d been heartbroken, feeling like a failure, worried that he’d messed up his kids’ future. Robert reminded him time and time again that their Dad had been a right arsehole and they’d turned out okay. Mostly. They’d had their mum to see them through, and his niece and nephew had Andy as their dad, they be stars. They already were.

“I don’t know.”

Because Robert didn’t, he didn’t have a great love affair to go back to, didn’t know what love like that felt like. His eyes shifted over Aaron again, who was relaxed in the booth, one arm stretched out over the back of the seat. Robert wanted to walk over and settle in right beside him. The fierceness of the feeling should have terrified him but for some reason it made him a little sad.

“I’m not you, I haven’t dated a lot.” Andy smirked as Robert turned away from the view to give his brother a lethal look.

“Watch it.”

“I just mean, she’s it for me. She always has been. No one has ever made me feel like she does, even just with a look from across the room. Losing her was the hardest thing I ever did, no one knows that better than you. Would it be daft for me to try and get that back? I’d go through all of it again a thousand times over if it’s her and me in the end.”

Said like that Robert couldn’t put up much of an argument and he didn’t have one anyway. Andy was the best of them, and he deserved whatever he wanted. It had never been much, love and a family, his hands in the dirt.

“I’ve got your back, no matter what happens.” Robert reached out to squeeze his brother’s hand in solidarity. Andy gave him a smile, seemed relieved Robert had given his blessing.

“I know that, but it’s nice to hear anyway. Next ones are on me. And hey, don’t look so glum, I promise it’ll happen to you too one day.”

One thought ran through Robert’s mind, made his stomach jolt…

_ Maybe it already has. _

Robert looked over to the corner of the pub again for confirmation, something to tell him he wasn’t imagining everything. He’d been tied up in knots over Aaron since he’d first laid eyes on him again. He was starting to realize he couldn’t really lie to himself about it anymore. He’d been trying his best over the last few days, working hard on the farm until he collapsed in bed exhausted every night. The more he tried to not think about it the more it was all he could think about. 

Aaron, the kid who used to follow Robert around. Aaron, the scruffy mechanic the whole village begrudgingly adored. Aaron, Victoria’s best mate. Aaron, the man his own mother and brother viewed as one of their own. Aaron, whose smile was burned into the back of Robert’s eyelids. Aaron, who made his heart race and his blood hum.

Had he really fallen head over feet just like that?

But the once jovial table was now empty, and a quick scan of the room confirmed that Aaron and Adam must have left unnoticed. Robert was hit with a wave of melancholy, already calculating in his mind when he could see Aaron again, catch a glimpse. Greedy for any little bit he was allowed.

Like it or not he had his answer now. He just needed to figure out what the hell he was going to do about it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all the kind words. I mean a Princess Diaries type leg pop, probably one of the best compliments I've ever received. You're all wonderful.
> 
> (Again this hasn't been edited by an outside source so please forgive grammar and spelling and my inability to use a comma correctly)


	5. Why Do I Keep Counting

“I still don’t know why I have to be here?” Aaron took in the crowds of people filling the mall, free AC from the summer heat the main attraction. There was a lot more he’d rather be doing on his day off than this.

“I told you, you know her best. You need to make sure I don’t mess this up.” Adam had been a buzz of energy for the last few days, like a toddler on a constant sugar high. Even Vic was starting to notice his odd behaviour. He was worried she was going to actually ask Aaron about it. He’d always been bad at lying to her, that or she was just really good at nattering the information out of him.

“It’s a ring. Make sure it’s shiny and she’ll love it.” 

Adam ignored his words so he had no other option than to follow his mate into the brightly lit jewelry store. There were rows of glass cases manned by women in matching black dresses. It didn’t take long before one pounced.

“Gentlemen, how can I help you this afternoon?” 

“We’re looking for an engagement ring.” Adam’s grin looked like it was about to split his face in half.

The woman gave them both a genuine smile, “For him or for you?” She looked over at Aaron with her eyebrows raised in question.

“He should be so lucky. It’s for my girlfriend.” Adam hooked his arm around Aaron’s neck. “But if she says no he’s next on the list.”

Aaron wanted to be annoyed but Adam’s glee had a habit of being infectious. The clerk just smiled again, “Well sir, with my help I’m sure she won’t turn you down.”

She asked Adam his budget, which was higher than Aaron was expecting but it made the clerk beam as she led them to a case. There were so many rings that looked just like the next, Aaron didn’t know how anyone was supposed to choose. The woman pulled out a tray and set it down for Adam to take a closer look.

“Now is she traditional or more fashion forward?”

“I would say traditional. You know, classy.”

Adam glanced at Aaron for approval so he gave a nod. He couldn’t see Vic wanting a yellow diamond or something too outlandish. She loved to cook; she wouldn’t even be able to wear it that much. When she did she’d want to wear it with pride.

“Yellow or white gold?”

“Ummm….” Adam looked lost again, Aaron had to save him.

“Yellow. She loves that locket that used to be her grandmother’s, wears it all the time.”

“Oh...do you think she’d like something a bit more vintage?” The clerk wasn't asking Adam anymore, her attention fully on Aaron now.

“Definitely.” That was the perfect word to describe his best mate.

“I think I have just the thing. Give me one second.” She left them to their own devices as she disappeared into a back room.

“Thank God you’re here mate. I can’t get this wrong.” Adam wiped his hands on his jeans. “I’m sweating, why am I sweating?”

“Because you’re about to drop your savings onto a piece of crushed coal?” 

The clerk came back with a small tray, just a few rings nestled into some velvet.

“Now these might be more her style, there is one in particular I have in mind. Well under your budget too.”

She picked up one ring and held it out to Adam, who wiped his hands again before taking it and holding it between his fingers.

“The filigree on the band is delicate but plays nicely with the cut of the diamond. It’s not too large, anything bigger and it would take away from the design of the band.” 

Adam turned the ring over and over, he looked ecstatic but still glanced at Aaron for approval. He just smiled, it was quite simply perfect for Vic. 

“This is it, this is definitely it.”

The clerk seemed pleased, shuffling Adam back to a desk to figure out the paperwork and leaving Aaron alone to wander the store. None of the other clerks bothered him, aware he was just moral support for a nervous and hopeful groom. He eyed up some pricey watches and sneered at a man’s pinky ring.

Then he got to one case, pairs of men’s bands nestled together. There was a photo amongst the rings, two young blokes in suits, their arms around each other. He stopped to look, couldn’t help himself really. He’d never thought about marriage, didn’t really ever imagine he’d be able to. Times changed, the display in front of him was proof of that. 

Maybe he’d find it one day. Maybe he’d be the one dragging Adam here a few years from now. Maybe he’d be madly in love, nervous at the thought of getting down on one knee.

One band in particular caught his eye. There was something about it, it looked silver but the metal had a sheen to it, like you’d see on a car engine. He could see himself wearing that everyday, fiddling with it when he was thoughtful or annoyed. Could see himself sliding a matching one on long fingers, strong and still soft...green eyes…

“Right! We’re good to go.” Adam broke Aaron out of his dangerous thoughts and waved a small black bag in his hand. “Lunch on me?”

Aaron followed Adam back out into the chaos of the mall, but not before turning one last time to glance at the rings and the daydream that would never come true.

* * *

Robert struggled to carry the box overflowing with fairy lights into the hall. There were wires criss crossing the floor and he was almost certain he was going to break his neck. The dance was only two days away and the entire village was in upheaval about it. 

“Where do you want this?” Robert’s mum had a clipboard in her hand, already directing Jimmy King and Doug Potts with a point of her pen. She smiled sweetly at Robert.

“Over there, you and Aaron are on hanging duty. We want the same set up as last year. He knows what to do.” She effectively turned away from him, heading towards the makeshift bar Chas and Paddy were setting up in the corner.

Robert gripped the box tightly and took a deep breath, before scanning the space. He found Aaron crouched down by the DJ station, staring at a large pile of tangled light strings.

He’d been prepared to help but he hadn’t been prepared to be partnered up with Aaron. He still didn’t know what to do when it came to his feelings for the mechanic and avoidance had seemed like the right move. At least until it was no longer an option, which essentially was right this minute.

He made his way over, placed the box gently down.

“I am going to kill him.” Aaron was muttering, not aware that Robert was looming over him.

“Who?”

Aaron jumped to his feet, looked ready to fight until he realized who was standing there.

“Christ, warn a guy, Sugden.”

“Sorry,” Robert shoved his hands in his pockets, needed to do something with them lest they reach out. “Mum sent me over to help you. So who are we murdering?”

Aaron’s lips turned up slightly, a hint of a smile that had Robert feeling warm all over.

“Your idiot brother actually. He took these down last year. Left them in a right mess.” Aaron kicked at the clump on the floor.

“Yeah, when it comes to farming he’s sharp as a tack. Anything else, meh.” Robert looked around and decided to just get on with it. He dropped to the floor, legs stretched out before him as he dug his hands into the mess.

He glanced up at Aaron who was eyeing him warily.

“You joining me or what? The sooner we figure this out the sooner there are pints with our names on it.”

Aaron shrugged and sat on the floor beside him. Close, but not close enough. They worked in relative silence, the chaos of the hall ringing around them. It was nice though, comfortable and settling. Which made no sense because being so near Aaron made Robert feel the opposite of settled.

They made good headway, Robert looking at Aaron every so often. Sometimes he was biting his lip, sometimes he was scowling but every so often a soft “yes” would be whispered. Robert thought it was kind of adorable.

When that was finally finished they sat back and admired their handiwork. The peace didn’t last long, Robert’s mum coming to observe their progress and finding it lacking.

“Right, you two, no more slacking. I need these lights up before we can set up the tables.” She ruffled Aaron’s hair before she walked away again.

Robert smirked at Aaron who grimaced in reply.

“Shut up, Sugden.”

“I didn’t say anything.”

“I mean it, I’ll leave you to do this alone. She ain’t my mum.” There was no real threat in Aaron’s voice but Robert didn’t want to chance it.

“I take it back. Forgive me? Don’t abandon me in my hour of need.” 

Aaron stood and offered his hand to Robert, “Alright, but only because she scares me too.”

He grabbed Aaron’s hand, not that he needed it for assistance, mostly just to touch. He loathed letting go when he was back on his feet. Until he noticed the large and rickety ladder leaning up against the wall.

“I am not climbing that.” Robert had a thing with heights. The thing being that he really didn’t like them.

“Some farm boy you are. Didn’t you live in a high rise back in London?” 

“I was on the fifth floor. Not to mention that thing looks older than your Uncle Zak.” 

“True. Probably wouldn’t hold your weight, Tubby.” Aaron’s eyes were glowing and Robert felt like they were flirting. Were they flirting? He hoped they were flirting.

“You weigh more than I do I’d bet.” 

“All muscle, mate.” Aaron rubbed his hand on his flat stomach and heat flared through Robert’s body. It wasn’t like Robert hadn’t noticed that, it was all he could think about most days. They locked eyes again and then both looked away, Robert was sure his cheeks were flaming red. 

Aaron cleared his throat. “Just hold it steady for me; I’ll do the heavy lifting.”

Robert watched Aaron walk away and mentally kicked himself for making it awkward. He was usually good at this, charming and smooth. With Aaron he felt like a teenager again, thinking with his dick and not his brain.

It didn’t help that Aaron’s back and arms looked good enough to bite as he set up the ladder and grabbed a handful of the fairy lights.

“If I die our mums will kill you, remember that.” Then he flashed his teeth and started to climb. Robert waited until he was halfway up before finally getting close enough to hold on. Then he made the mistake of looking at the ceiling, Aaron’s body on full display. 

“You got me?” Aaron shouted louder than necessary, a slight look of trepidation in his eyes as he watched Robert from his perch.

All Robert could do was nod.

* * *

Being stuck high up on a ladder with the knowledge that Robert was below him was more frazzling than Aaron wanted to admit. He tried to focus on the task at hand. They'd gotten a rhythm down, Aaron climbing down every so often to move the ladder and gather more lights. Robert kept them from snagging or tangling up again. An hour and they were done, Aaron letting out a sigh of relief when he hooked the last bit up. He was wound tight, Robert’s gaze putting him on edge. He needed some space to breathe.

“Coming down!” Aaron made the slow descent, only a few rungs from the bottom when a crash on the other side of the room made him lose his concentration. He slipped, his stomach in his throat as he slid down the last two feet or so. When his shoes hit the ground he felt lightheaded, but that might be because of hands that were holding him tight at the waist. Strong, long fingered hands.

“You okay?” 

Aaron closed his eyes at Robert’s words, the heat of his body so close it was overwhelming. So much for being able to breathe. The fingers squeezed and Aaron sucked in some air before he was able to respond.

“Yeah. All good.”

“Aaron!”

The shout of his name seemed to shock them both, Aaron stepping away from the ladder and Robert taking his warmth away. They both looked to see Leyla rushing over, her heeled sandals moving faster than Aaron imagined was safe.

“Are you okay?” She was talking to him but her eyes were all for Robert.

“No harm done.” 

“Lucky you had this handsome man here to save you.” Aaron watched her flip her hair before stretching out her hand. “I don’t think we’ve been introduced. I’m Leyla Harding, I run an events business here in Emmerdale. It’s so nice to finally meet the famous Robert Sugden.”

Aaron watched Robert’s charm turn on in an instant, it was almost like a mask slammed down over his face. He smiled but it didn’t seem to reach his eyes. Robert took Leyla’s hand, and she preened at the contact.

“Don’t believe everything you hear.” Robert’s voice even sounded off to Aaron. He didn’t like it. He opened his mouth to say so but thankfully thought better of it. Instead he picked up the ladder, leaving the two beautiful people to fawn all over each other. 

He put the ladder away, cleaned up the boxes and refused to look back to see if Robert was still laying it on thick. He finally wiped his hands on his jeans and knew the moment the smooth git was standing behind him.

“You didn’t have to do all the cleaning up. Pint’s on me then.”

Aaron schooled his face to relaxed indifference before glancing over his shoulder.

“Maybe another time? I’m knackered.”

Robert’s smile dropped slightly before he nodded his head. “Yeah, course.”

Aaron didn’t bother to say anything else, just waved at his Mum and Sarah who were supervising the placement of tables and chairs. 

He didn’t stop moving until he was home, kicking his shoes off in a huff. He stomped up the stairs, mostly because he knew no one else was there to hear him. He slammed his door before falling onto his bed.

He was being ridiculous. He knew that. Robert wasn’t his; he didn’t owe Aaron a damn thing. He didn’t have any right to feel jealous and of Leyla of all people.

This was just a crush, and he needed to figure out a way to shut it down and fast. Robert clearly wanted to be mates, of course he did, they were almost family. If Aaron wasn’t careful he was going to get hurt, or even worse, hurt someone he loved. 

It had been a blip, that was all. He was anxious about Adam and Vic, happy for them but feeling lost as everyone got on with their lives. Hadn’t he said a few weeks ago he wanted to get out there. Meet someone. He wasn’t going to do that by mooning over a bloke that probably still saw him as some little kid.

He pulled his phone out of his pocket, tapped it against his mouth in thought. But thinking hadn’t gotten him anywhere. Action would.

He flopped onto his stomach, took a deep breath and opened the dating app to finally set up his profile.

* * *

Robert hadn’t had long to mourn the fact that Aaron had ditched him, Chas and his mum dragging him over to help set up tables. He did the mindless grunt work and let his thoughts drift back to the moment he’d almost had Aaron in his arms. He’d panicked when he saw Aaron starting to fall, his heart stopping. When he’d realized the mechanic was safe it registered that he was holding onto firm muscle. He’d squeezed out of reflex, hoped that Aaron hadn’t noticed. For a brief moment he wondered if Aaron had felt it too, the electricity between them. Robert heard Aaron's sharp intake of breath but that could have been an after effect of his fall.

That woman hadn’t helped the situation any. It’d taken Robert forever to shake Leyla. She seemed nice enough but he wasn’t interested, no matter how much she batted her eyelashes at him. The one person in this damn village that held any interest kept walking away. 

He mulled it over and over in his head. Was he projecting his own feelings onto Aaron, hoping to see something that wasn’t even there? He tried to remember the last time he’d been in a situation like this. Normally someone would strike his fancy and he’d make a play, it usually went in his favor. This was a whole different thing. 

If Aaron turned him down, well Robert wasn’t sure how he would handle that. 

Robert just needed to play the long game, spend more time with him. Gauge where Aaron’s head and heart was at. Flowers or smooth words wouldn’t work on Aaron, and that just made him all the more appealing. He’d be able to read that bullshit a mile away and probably throw it back in Robert’s face. Weirdly the idea of that made him smile. 

Aaron was genuine, if not a little moody, but Robert had caught moments of it today. The way it could be between them. The ease with which they worked together, the playful banter. It was one thing to want Aaron Dingle, it was something else entirely to just enjoy being around him.

“Sweetie, come over here!” His mum waved at him from the bar, Chas on the other side and Vic sitting on top. They all three were smiling at him, in a way that made him nervous. He could only imagine what was going to be asked of him next. More heavy lifting no doubt.

He jogged across the room, realizing for the first time that the hall was now completely empty of anyone else. Most of the decorations were up, the lights twinkling overhead and it looked nice. He and Aaron had done that and couples were going to sway under them, like stars under the night sky. 

“You beckoned?” 

Chas laughed and Victoria stuck out her tongue but his mum gave him a sympathetic look.

“Don’t worry, you’ve done your fair share. There’ll be more tomorrow but I’ll make Andy do it.” 

“I always knew I was your favourite.”

Victoria kicked her foot at him, a usual game between them, and as always Robert dodged it with ease.

“So can I go or…” He watched the three women glance at each other. God, when had Vic become part of the Mum Squad? Two had been a handful but three, no one was safe.

“We want to talk to you, it’s about Aaron.” Vic whispered it, as if the man himself was about to jump out from around the corner.

Robert froze. He’d not been that obvious had he? God, had his mother seen him flirting. He looked at them each, the hopeful looks on their faces. 

“What about him?” Robert planted his feet and crossed his arms, told himself he was ready for whatever was about to come his way. Or had thought he was because the next words out of his sister’s mouth were like a slap across the face.

“We’re wondering if you know anyone we could set him up with.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You're all wonderful and I adore you. I know how many chapters this is going to be now. I'm excited to share the rest of this story with you. 
> 
> Also there is no Katie in this AU. She doesn’t go here. It’s my happy place.
> 
> AND my dear @peoplediedrobert edited this chapter for me. She you can blame her for all errors. typos and bad use of commas. (I'm kidding. It's still my fault)


	6. From Here On Out

Robert had rarely been one to lose his temper, rage had never really been something he aspired to. He’d seen enough of it in his dad to last him a lifetime. He liked to be calculating if it got that far, why punch someone when you could slowly dismantle their life? However the day before the dance Robert would have happily murdered anyone that so much as looked at him. 

He barely spoke to his mother or brother when they headed out to the hall, last minute preparations to be finished. Stupid fairy lights. Stupid small village. His mum had given him a weird look before she left but Robert couldn’t be arsed to give her a smile to appease her.

He’d attempted to make himself breakfast but it all burned as he glared out the kitchen window. He gave up and went to the office, because there was always paperwork to do and that, at least, was something he was good at. He lasted maybe 10 minutes before he was certain he was going to break the keyboard with his pounding fingers.

He stopped trying, knew there was some fencing that needed fixing. Andy had said he’d do it at the end of the week but Robert wanted to get his hands dirty. Honestly he needed to hit something. No he needed to hit someone, a someone he’d never even met.

_ Ed. _

What kind of name was that anyway? It was the name for an old man who walked his three dogs off leash and smelled of cigar smoke. Oh, but not Aaron’s Ed, he was just perfect, wasn't he?

Robert had been so shocked by Vic’s question yesterday he’d just stood there like a gaping fish. Then the women had started listing off the kind of men Aaron liked. Supposedly they were all named Ed, and played professional rugby. They had kind eyes, dark skin and could bench press Chas without breaking a sweat.

God, the three of them had giggled over the bloke. Each heartbroken that Aaron’s homesickness had caused the end of the grand love affair. They told Robert all about how Aaron had spent the years since he’d been back in Emmerdale on one night stands. Until recently that is. No, now Aaron wanted to get out there and meet his Mr. Right. One that was the exact opposite of Robert in every single possible way.

He loaded up the truck and slammed the cab door as he got in. The spray of dust he left in his wake as he sped down the road gave him little satisfaction. 

Truth was Robert could think of at least three friends back in London who would jump at the chance to take Aaron Dingle out for a night. They’d probably sell their cars for a future that included waking up to that gorgeous face every morning. God, if they’d all seen Aaron when they were out on the prowl together it probably would have started a brawl between them. 

He hadn’t told the Mum Squad that, and most certainly not Victoria, his traitor of a sister. He’d told them he’d think about it. Which was exactly what he was doing, and he hated it. He’d then made a hasty retreat to the Woolpack and had downed two pints in quick succession. He’d spent the rest of the night pretending to do paperwork just to avoid his mum and brother or anymore questions about helping Aaron find his happily ever after. He’d just stared at the corner of the room and brooded. God, Robert was so much like his dad sometimes it made his skin crawl.

He’d been back what, just over a month, and he already wanted this place in his rear view mirror. He stopped the truck and looked at the fence that needed attention, couldn’t help but enjoy the bright blue sky over green fields. The sheep were grazing, not concerned with anything but wandering the grass.

He didn’t want to leave, he wanted to be here. He’d missed his mum and his siblings. He’d missed his niece and nephew growing up. He’d missed pints in the Woolpack and overhearing gossip at the market. He’d missed this, who he was when he was in Emmerdale. He got to be himself, not some business shark or playboy. It’d been fun for a while and he didn’t regret it. He’d wanted to see what was out there and he had. He’d enjoyed it and then he’d been ready to leave it all behind to come home. 

He’d let Aaron Dingle get in the way of that. It was just like Robert to want the one thing that was completely out of his reach. 

In a way he understood his brother and sister more than ever. If this was love, the ache of separation, the joy of being together, then he got why it’d been something they’d always strived for.

Vic was probably going to be engaged soon, if Adam was over being shifty in pub corners and realized there was no way in hell he could do any better. Andy was still hoping he could get back what he’d lost, put the missing piece that was Debbie back in place.

Then there was Robert, who’d never imagined he could feel this way about someone. Someone he’d known his whole life but didn’t really know at all. He didn’t know Aaron’s dreams or plans, he didn’t know what the bloke wanted out of life.

All he knew was that Aaron was witty, their banter easy and natural. He knew he was a good friend, a good son, protective of the people he loved. People Robert loved too. He knew Aaron’s smile made him warm, and Aaron’s laugh made him want. He was so damn sexy it made Robert’s eyes hurt. 

Robert just wasn’t used to wanting and not getting. 

Was that why? Aaron Dingle was unattainable; maybe that was the overall pull that kept him up at night. Maybe. But he knew better.

He was 30 years old, and he was being ridiculous. He’d get over this, whatever  _ this _ was, and move on. It was just a hiccup. Another few weeks and it’d pass, Aaron falling into the brotherly role he had with Robert’s siblings. It’d be fine.

Yet the next day as he stood in front of his bedroom mirror and fixed his collar he wasn’t entirely convinced. He’d picked out his best grey suit, his shiniest shoes and a tie that brought out his eyes. He looked good, he knew that, and unlike every time before he couldn’t bring himself to care. But it was his armour, and he had a feeling tonight he would need it.

A soft knock and then his bedroom door opened, Andy standing there with a sheepish look on his face. His brother’s suit wasn’t as quality as Robert’s but he looked smart out of his usual farm attire. He held the ugliest tie Robert had ever seen in his hand.

“You almost ready to go, Rob?”

His mum and brother had been walking on eggshells around him. He’d tried to plaster a smile on his face when they’d gotten home the night before but he didn’t think he’d fooled them. He had some making up to do.

“I’m not going anywhere if you’re planning on wearing that.” 

Andy looked down at the tie, “What’s wrong with it?”

“Nothing, if you’re blind and aren’t trying to woo the love of your life.” 

“It’s my nicest one.”

Robert scoffed at him, turning to his own closet to find what he had in mind. It was probably the most expensive tie he owned, a red silk that oozed charm. He snagged it off the hanger and held it out to Andy like it was a lifeline.

“Wear this instead.”

Andy took it, ran the material through his fingers and let out a low whistle.

“You sure?”

“Said I had your back didn’t I?” 

Andy smiled up at him but Robert could see the nervousness and fear in his eyes.

“Come here.” He pulled his brother into a quick hug, he knew how much tonight meant to Andy. Support was the only thing Robert could offer. “It’s gonna be alright yeah.”

Andy let out a sigh and squeezed Robert back before stepping away. Then the calm before the storm was broken when their mum’s bellowing voice reached them from downstairs.

“Boys, get a move on!”

* * *

Aaron was feeling pretty good about himself if he was honest; setting up that dating profile had been one of the smartest things he’d ever done. Screw Robert Sugden, there were men out there that were interested in him. If the notifications he was getting were anything to go by then there were a lot more than he ever would have expected.

It wasn’t like a night out on the pull, Aaron knew how to do that. He knew the looks to flash and the signals to give out. No one wanted to know about you, that wasn’t what anyone was there for. He’d never been ashamed of it but he’d never let himself think about it too deeply.

Using an actual dating app, and not a hookup one, well that was a whole different experience. You had to fill out a questionnaire about the things you were interested in, what you wanted for your future and for some reason your astrological sign. The basic information had been easy, it was hard to mess up your age, height and eye colour. He knew some blokes lied on these things, wasn’t that what everyone said? He didn’t see the point, he’d neve been interested in playing games.

It’d taken him a while to fill everything in, wanting to sound like himself. He thought about Robert and the charm he’d turned on Leyla. Aaron wasn’t ever going to be like that. Some people might not like it but they always knew where they stood in Aaron’s life. He had every intention of it staying that way.

The easiest part had been choosing the main photo for his page, the one of him and Adam laughing at the Woolpack. It was a great picture and after he’d cropped his mate out he loaded it up. He clicked the publish button and then slammed his phone in his bedside drawer, slightly afraid of what he’d just done.

He shouldn’t have been.

He must have fallen asleep for a little while, waking up to the smell of something baking and a vague memory of a dream filled with green eyes and an easy smile. It irked him, had him reaching for his phone again, maybe someone was interested. It couldn’t be that hard to find one bloke out of thousands could it?

Aaron hadn’t gotten one message, he’d gotten 36.

Once he got over his shock he dove in. Some were way too old, some looked too young. A couple looking to add a third person to their relationship - that one was a hard no. After some weeding through he found three potentials, but the one who lived closest in Hotten had the nice smile and his message made Aaron laugh.

_ “Please tell me you’re real because if you’re a 60 year old bloke it’s going to break my heart.” _

He was a doctor, which was more posh than Aaron would have expected would be interested in the likes of him. His name was Alex and he was really into action movies and going out with mates. A bit of a beer snob but Aarom could overlook that for now.

The most appealing factor was he didn’t look a thing like Robert. He had brown hair and blue eyes, more of a lanky frame in his photo than Aaron’s usual type but he had to start somewhere.

He typed out what he hoped was a witty reply and went to see what Vic was making with a spring in his step.

By the next day he’d exchanged a few messages with Alex, nothing too serious or deep. They were both playing it close to the vest, neither wanting to seem too eager. To be honest Aaron wasn’t, but it was nice to have some attention for a change.

He’d promised his mum he’d help her with set up of the hall bar and he was more than happy to leave the house. Vic was spending hours getting her hair just right and Adam looked like he was about to jump out of his skin. If they noticed that Aaron was feeling lighter than he had in weeks they didn’t say anything.

Chas Dingle cooed over him when she saw him in his blue suit, right away straightening his tie. Aaron would just loosen it again but he let her have her moment. She was excited, she’d worked hard to get this thing up and going. Had even hired someone to run the hall bar so she could enjoy her evening. She pointed him to boxes of booze and a keg she wanted him to cart down the road so he got to business.

The hall looked like an entirely different world and he could see Leyla and Tracy putting centerpieces on all the tables. Aaron had always thought they’d gone too far out for this affair but it was one of the few times everyone in the village forgot real life and had a good time. They’d drink and dance, gossip and raise money for the church at the same time. Win-win for everyone really.

He stacked the boxes, lined up the bottles like he knew his mum liked. He had just finished setting up the keg when his mobile vibrated in his pocket. It was another message from Alex, this time asking what Aaron was up to tomorrow night. Would he be interested in dinner with a doctor who wanted to meet him in person?

He didn’t think about it too long. This was what he’d been after wasn’t it? He typed out a yes, that he was looking forward to it. He smiled as he slipped his phone away again. He glanced around the room one more time before heading out, excited for a nice night with his friends.

Aaron made the mistake of stopping near the door when he heard a name all too familiar, the one that was haunting his every step.

“Let’s be real Tracy, Robert Sugden is the best thing to walk into this village in years.” It was Leyla, because of course it was.

“You making a move?” Tracy sounded giddy, the prospect of her friend hooking up clearly exciting for her.

“Once he sees me in the dress I am wearing tonight it won’t be me making any moves. He’ll come running.”

Aaron left before he heard anything else, the women’s laughter following him back out into the sunshine.

He couldn’t do this, not yet anyway. It was one thing to grab a beer with a man that was just words on a screen, it was another to have to watch Robert follow Leyla around like a dog in heat. 

Aaron sighed and rubbed at his face. He knew he’d end up sitting with Vic and Adam, the two of them mooning over each other. No doubt Robert would join them, which meant Leyla draped over his side. 

There had to be a way out of this, but he couldn’t see one. He couldn’t feign sickness, his mother knew him too well for him to pull it off. More than anything he didn’t want to disappoint her, not to mention Vic and Sarah. They all worked for tirelessly to make the dance a success. They’d be gutted if he didn’t go. He just needed to man up, dive in the deep end. It was the only way he was ever going to be able to put his feelings for Robert to rest.

He heard their laughter again, Tracy and Leyla walking arm in arm out of the hall, headed to their shared cottage. It made his heart sink, because she was perfect for Robert wasn’t she? She was beautiful, poised, could fit in with Robert’s business world as well as the small village. It made sense, they made sense.

He couldn’t do it. 

He walked into the back door of the pub wondering if it would be worth breaking his own arm to get out of the evening when he saw his mum pacing in the back room, swearing up a storm. Aaron’s step-dad Paddy was trying to calm her down and obviously failing.

“She promised, I should have known better than to count on her.” Chas let Paddy take her into a hug as he rubbed her back.

“What’s wrong?” Aaron hated seeing his mum upset, at least when it wasn’t him that had caused it.

“Bloody Charity. She was supposed to run the pub tonight. I even paid for her train ticket. She was going to see Debbie and the kids even, but no, she had a better offer. Not like she’s left it to the last minute.” Chas sighed and wiped at her eyes. 

Aaron’s mum had already changed for the evening, straightened her usually mess of curly hair. She looked beautiful and she should get to enjoy it. 

“Nothing that can be done about it, someone has to be here.”

It was some vague liquor law but the only way the Woolpack could sell alcohol down the road in the hall was if they were open at their main location. If someone didn’t keep shop than no one was going to drink tonight. In Emmerdale that would never go over well.

“No Chas, I’ll stay. You’ve worked so hard.” Aaron watched Paddy’s eyes get firm, probably more upset with Charity than his wife was. Aaron loved his step-dad for offering to take the bullet.

“It won't be any fun for me if you’re not there.” Chas Dingle loved to dance, and it was why she worked for weeks to make everything perfect. 

“I’ll do it.” Aaron jumped at the chance to get out of the evening, saving the day was just a nice side effect.

His parents looked at him hopefully before his mum shook her head. “No no, you’re young, you should be the one having fun.”

“I was just going to have a few drinks with Vic and Adam, no different than any other night. You know I don’t dance. Besides, gets me out of this monkey suit.” 

Aaron watched his mum mull it over and could tell she was wavering. He knew what to say, even though he was sure it would come back to haunt him later. Still it was the only card he had left to play.

“I got myself a date tomorrow night, a quiet evening would do me some good.” Aaron watched his mum’s eyes get bright. He almost felt bad for deceiving her, but he wasn’t really. He did have a date, just not with the one person he was desperate for it to be with.

Thankfully Chas Dingle knew how to play it cool, but she was vibrating with excitement.

“You’re sure you don’t mind?” 

Aaron sighed, he was saved.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *throws confetti over all of you because you're unicorns*


	7. Get Trashed

Robert was doing his best to not seem like he was waiting for Aaron to show. His family had been some of the first to arrive, his mum already in management mode. When Debbie and the kids appeared, little Sarah twirled in her dress as her uncle clapped accordingly. He had to promise her a dance, Andy beaming with pride as he led his children inside.

As more people finally started to trickle in the music played and the lights twinkled overhead. Robert saw Chas and Paddy, but no Aaron. Vic had pulled Adam to the dance floor the minute they’d gotten through the doors. Again, no mechanic. The person that did seem to be constantly in his eyesight was Leyla. He was aware of what she was doing and the Robert of before would have taken her up on the offer. The Robert of today just found it to be a nuisance he didn’t have time for.

He chatted with villagers, let little Sarah stand on his expensive shoes as they swayed to the music. He even carried Jack around on his shoulders for a bit. After an hour he was getting impatient. He had to keep reminding himself that Aaron and him weren’t ever going to happen, but he’d forget that fact whenever someone with dark hair walked by.

Finally he ended up at a table, manning Victoria’s purse and his mother’s sparkly shawl. Maybe he should just go home, he’d put in his time. He wasn’t in the mood for dancing really, or anything else. Eventually his sister flopped in a chair beside him.

“God, I’m thirsty.” She fanned herself with her hand, cheeks glowing.

“Where’s Adam? Off causing trouble with, Aaron?” Robert kept his tone light, he didn’t want Vic to be getting ideas that he might actually care.

“No, Adam’s getting me some wine. Aaron’s at the pub.” She scowled at the last bit, her annoyance evident and his stomach dropped

“Did something happen? Is he okay?”

Thankfully Victoria didn’t notice his concern as she dug in her purse and pulled out her compact.

“No, Charity bailed so someone had to stay behind. Just like her too.” She seemed content with whatever she saw in her mirror and shut it with a flick of her wrist. “Don’t say anything to Debbie though. She was looking forward to a visit with her mum. She should at least enjoy her evening.”

Vic got up to go chat with someone else and Robert left to stare at his hands. To say he was disappointed was an understatement, his chance to see Aaron in a suit lost. He barely remembered Charity Dingle but at that moment he kind of loathed her.

“Come dance with your mother.”

Robert hadn’t seen her approach, but she was smiling at him, her palm held out like he was a little kid again. He couldn’t help but grin back and let her lead him to the floor. The music slowed down, but he still sent her into a little twirl before they settled into a rhythm.

“So, how is my boy doing?” 

“Good.”

She squeezed his hand, “And the truth?”

Robert wondered for a moment if all mother’s had the same intuition when it came to their children or if he’d just lucked out. He didn’t know what to say, so he shrugged instead.

“You know we love having you back but if it’s not where you want to be none of us will hold it against you.” She moved her hand off his shoulder to pat lovingly at his face.

“Mum, I missed Emmerdale. It’s home.”

She hummed a little as he turned them in a circle, he knew her cues, he’d been dancing with her all his life. Or all of it he remembered anyway.

“You haven’t been yourself lately; I can see it Robert.”

“It’s just….” His voice trailed off when he heard Victoria’s laughter across the room, Adam’s arm around her shoulders.

“Ah yes. It can be hard to be single sometimes but you’re smart to wait until you find your person.”

Robert had a flash of Aaron’s face in his mind but mentally shoved it away.

“Mum, I’m pretty sure it doesn’t work like that.” It couldn't, because if it did he was screwed.

“Take your sister, Lord knows I love her but she can be high strung, jumping from one thing to the next. Adam mellows her out, calms the storm.”

Robert glanced at the couple again, Vic with her head tucked under Adam’s chin, his hand rubbing her back. They looked content and happy. Madly in love.

“Now Andy, he’s steady and thoughtful. Thinks things through too much sometimes. Debbie keeps him on his toes, reminds him life can be fun.” They both turned to the little family, the four of them holding hands, dancing in a small circle.

“And then there’s you.” 

Robert looked in mum’s eyes, saw the softness there.

“Do I even want to hear this?” He needed to play it off, this was all hitting a little too close to the mark.

“Hush. You want the world to think you’re nothing but brains and charm when really you have the softest heart of all my children. You need to find someone who makes you feel safe, allows you to bring that part of yourself out for the world to see.” Robert saw tears in her eyes and had to swallow against the lump in his throat. “When you fall in love. Robert, and you will, it’ll be the making of you.”

He didn’t know how to respond to that, so he just pressed his cheek to the top of her head and stayed silent as the music continued. They didn’t speak again until the song was over, his mum squeezing him in a hug before she let him go.

“Not to scare you but there is a certain Leyla Harding making a beeline this way. If I am to assume correctly you’d like me to run interference?” She had a smirk on her lips, and God, Robert really loved his mother.

“Please.”

“Make your escape, and thank you for the dance.” 

They separated and he heard her shout Leyla’s name and something about centrepieces as he made his way towards the doors. He laughed in spite of himself, running from a girl like he was a little boy on the playground.

Outside the sun was setting, summer nights long and the pink of the sky relaxed him. The party inside would be going on for hours still but he knew that wasn’t where he wanted to be.

_ It’ll be the making of you. _

He took a deep breath and started the short walk to the pub. He pushed through the door before he lost his nerve. Sure enough Aaron was behind the bar, surprise clear when they locked eyes. It wasn’t what he imagined, Aaron in a suit and tie. It was so much better than that. Sleeves rolled up, stark white against muscled forearms. His top button undone, a hint of skin visible at the base of his throat, a tease no man could turn down. He was filling a pint glass, and he looked like the beginning of everything.

“Hey.”

* * *

Aaron spent the first hour in the empty pub sitting in a booth and playing on his phone. He wasn’t at all stalking Vic’s Instagram to see if Robert was in any of the photos she’d posted so far.

He wasn’t.

Leyla had been in shots though, and Aaron guessed she looked good. He wasn’t exactly the type of man to know. Okay fine, she was beautiful and he could do nothing but chuck his phone down in disgust at himself. He hadn’t wanted to be there, the whole point of this was to save himself any heartache.

He needed a drink, or seven. He’d tossed his jacket and tie in the back room earlier but now he rolled up his shirt sleeves. His mum would forgive him for a few pints.

He was pouring himself his first of many, imagining Robert looking perfect and handsome with Leyla in his arms when the door opened. He expected to see a Dingle, someone sent by his mum to make sure he hadn’t burned the place down. The last person he was expecting was a Sugden, _ the _ Sugden.

“Hey.” It came out a lot softer than he planned but Robert in his suit and tie was something everyone should see before they died. It was only fair. Aaron knew he’d never forget it.

“Hey, any chance a bloke could get one of those?”

Robert sat in the stool directly across from Aaron, his fingers already loosening the emerald tie around his neck. Aaron couldn’t make his mouth work, so he offered a nod and placed his intended drink in front of them both.

He watched the blonde take a sip as he threw his tie on the bar, then shook his free arm to rid himself of his jacket. Aaron wasn’t entirely sure what was going on but he couldn’t say he was against it. Robert didn’t say anything, just took another sip of the pint and looked down into it.

“You okay?”

Robert gazed up at him with a thoughtful expression.

“Yeah, just happy to find some peace and quiet. You’re missing one hell of a party.”

“Did Pearl make you dance with her?”

“I’ll have you know she is a very handsome woman for her age.”

Aaron had to laugh, relieved when the tension appeared to melt off Robert’s shoulders. It made him feel good that he’d had some part in it.

“Well, in this village there are slim pickings.” He turned to grab another glass for himself, surprised when he saw Robert leaning over the bar.

“Oi! None of that.”

“I always wondered what Chas kept behind here. I imagined a shotgun and a can of hairspray.” Robert sat back on his stool, propped his chin on his hand. He reminded Aaron of the teenager he used to want to be, the golden boy.

“We Dingles don’t need weapons, we have our fists. That includes the women.” Aaron pulled his own drink, surprised when he realized how quickly Robert was downing his.

“I’ll remember that.”

“You grew up here, you should already know that.”

Aaron let Robert’s laugh wash over him again, promised himself tomorrow he would worry about the consequences. Robert just poured the beer down his throat until his glass was empty.

“Another?”

“You haven’t paid for that one, Sugden.”

Robert gave him a look of mock horror. 

“Start me a tab. How about something stronger?”

Aaron couldn’t figure him out; he’d never seen Robert like this. Granted he didn’t know him all that well, maybe this was what he was really like. He couldn’t shake the feeling that Robert seemed sad, but that wasn’t the right word. 

_ Lonely. _

It was clear Robert needed a mate, and if Aaron couldn’t be what he wanted to be at least he could be what was needed.

“Unless it’s a shot you’re on your own. I never learned the finer points of the trade.” He was thankful for the distraction of his drink when Robert made a disappointed noise and stood up from the stool. Aaron watched him as he walked around to the break in the bar.

“Permission to enter?”

Aaron had to smile, he couldn’t help himself.

“Granted.”

Robert made a dramatic bow before reaching for a shaker and some bottles. He caught Aaron’s questioning look and shrugged.

“I worked at a place in university. I make a pretty good martini if I do say so myself.” 

Aaron just watched him, Robert had quick hands, they were mesmerizing. He even did a fancy long pour before sliding a glass Aaron’s way. Never one to back down from a challenge he took a small sip. It was surprisingly good.

“Not bad.” 

Robert beamed at him, and then shot him a wink. “You ain’t seen nothing yet.”

* * *

Robert wasn’t completely drunk but he was pretty damn close. He’d lost count of how many different drinks he’d made, Aaron and him sharing glasses and trying weirder and weirder mixtures.

It was so easy, natural. They chatted about their lives, Robert sharing stories about his time in London, Aaron making him laugh as he recounted his French experience. Thankfully the name Ed was never mentioned.

When he’d walked in earlier Robert had told himself that he was going to make Aaron be his friend. He knew he was half in love already but he would take what he could get. Robert thought it would make things easier, and maybe it would tomorrow, but for right now he could pretend. Just for tonight he wanted to imagine it was possible. Maybe he was as soft as his mum believed him to be. Or maybe Aaron just made him that way. 

Aaron’s smile, the one that was just a slight tilt of his mouth, was ever present. He had this habit of rubbing his stubble, in a shy way that made Robert want to feel it against his own fingertips.

His stomach and face hurt from laughing, but his chest felt like it was going to explode. The moment before a balloon burst or the kettle boiled, caged and on edge, about to reveal all.

“God, I’m hungry. Are you hungry?” Aaron had already eaten two packets of crisps, Robert having to look away whenever he’d licked at his thumb. “There has to be something in the kitchen.”

He had no other choice but to follow, weirdly overcome with memories as the door swung behind him. The last time he’d been in here he’d been snogging the face off of some bloke who’s name he couldn’t even remember. Caught in the act by a boy who had become every inch the man peering into the industrial fridge.

“Nice.” Aaron produced a plate with half a chocolate cake on it, hugging it close to his chest before hopping up on the stainless steel counter. He made grabby hands at the cutlery tray just out of reach, looked at Robert with pitiful eyes.

Drunk Aaron just might be his favourite.

Robert snagged two forks and leaned against the counter, Aaron swinging his legs in excitement. They both dug in at the same time, smiled around their mouthfuls of rich icing. They ate in silence, every so often their shoulders brushing. Robert had to stop himself from leaning into the sensation.

When he moved his fork to an especially chocolaty part on top Aaron brought his down as if he was starting a duel.

“No, that’s the best bit. It’s mine.” He started to pull the cake away, a serious look on his face.

“My sister made it.” Robert reached across Aaron’s chest, determined to win.

“My mum paid her too.” Aaron was twisting away from him, his shoulder knocking Robert out of the way. He made a dive for it, not really thinking of the outcome, more wrapped up in their friendly game. Unfortunately Aaron lost his grip, the cake falling with a splat, the plate skittering across the floor.

Robert and Aaron looked at each other in shock, like little kids that were about to get an earful from their mothers. They laughed at the same time, Aaron dropping his fork down with the rest of the mess.

“God, I am drunk.” He leaned back on his hands, his shirt pulling tight across his chest, the ends untucked from his trousers. It was an invitation, the row of buttons a trail to that gorgeous face.

Maybe Robert was intoxicated too, okay he definitely was, but that’s not why he swayed on his feet, not why his fingers reached forward, grabbing Aaron’s thighs to keep him upright.

The next thing he knew Aaron was right there, his hands on Robert’s biceps, their faces only inches apart. He could feel Aaron’s warm breath on his skin.

“Whoa, you alright there mate?”

He nodded his head but couldn’t look away. This close Aaron’s eyes were bloody brilliant. Intricate swirls of bright blue, a colour Robert had never truly appreciated until that moment. Then he watched them glance down at his mouth, Aaron’s lips tiling into a smile, before locking eyes with him again.

Just a soft lean, just one time. This was all a dream anyway, had to be. The edges of the world were fuzzy, the first brush like dipping into a warm bath. Soft and comforting, a taste to remember.

Aaron made a small sound and it brought him back to reality, the magnitude of what Robert had just done crashing down around him. He leaned back, an apology on his tongue. 

“I’m sor…”

He didn’t get the rest of words out, Aaron’s hands fisting into his shirt and tugging him back in, mouth open, hot and consuming. 

* * *

Aaron has envisioned every type of kiss Robert Sugden could ever give him. A gentle peck on the lips, a bite to his shoulder, or rushed and frantic, Robert looming over him. Mindless fantasies, reality had no part in it.

He’d never imagined this, didn’t know it would feel like falling and flying at the same time. He had to grip Robert’s hair to stay upright, open his legs to pull them tighter together. The roll of their hips was instinct, almost primal.

The sounds Robert made, the moans he offered up, the slight hiss when Aaron bit at his lip, it was intoxicating. They muttered nonsense into each other’s mouths when Robert hands slid up the back of Aaron’s shirt, skin to skin like a live wire. It made him arch back into the sensation, the need for oxygen too much to bear. 

Robert was hash breathes in his ear, teeth grazing at his neck, nails digging into Aaron’s back. He couldn’t stop touching, running his fingers over annoyingly clothed muscle and remembering to breathe.

“God, Aaron...” That voice was like sin, made him feel too much, think about possibilities. He didn’t want to think, he couldn’t. He just tugged Robert’s mouth back to his, delighted in the shiver he felt under his hands. He reached for shirt buttons, desperate to get Robert naked. He wanted to kiss golden skin, see if that chest was as beautiful as he’d always known it would be.

Fingers danced along his sides, creeping closer to where he wanted them. He lifted his hips again, needed to lock away the feel of Robert hard against him, because of him. Wanted to relive it over and over again for the rest of his life

A loud but far off voice made them both freeze, panting into each other, the spell almost broken. But not fully, he could…

“Aaron!” It was Vic, and she was close.

He used his hands to shove Robert away, feeling cold at the loss but panic at being discovered. He didn’t look back, couldn’t face what had just happened. What he’d just let himself do. He pushed through the door, catching his best mates before they entered the hallway. 

If they noticed his disheveled state they didn’t care. Vic had tears in her eyes and Adam was over her shoulder, looking proud enough to burst. She held up her hand, flounced it in Aaron’s face.

“We’re engaged!!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, I am excited to hear what you think of this one. As always I adore you all.
> 
> (And thank you to @peoplediedrobert for the editing. I'm finally starting to use that semicolon correctly!)


	8. Tidal Wave

Robert just stood there for a moment. He’d heard Victoria’s shout of glee, could tell Aaron was shuffling her and Adam into the back room. He ran a hand through his hair, remembered how minutes ago Aaron’s fingers had ruined it. How perfect he’d tasted on Robert’s tongue. How he’d come to life in Robert’s arms.

He wasn’t sure what to do. He understood why Aaron wouldn’t have wanted Robert’s sister to walk in on them. They should have laughed about it together, helped each other straighten their clothes. They should have shared a knowing secret smile. It should have been the start.

When Aaron ran out without looking back it had felt like something entirely different. 

No, it’d been something real. Robert couldn’t have been the only one who’d felt it, it didn’t seem possible. Then again he never thought he’d be back in this kitchen a decade later, worried once again that he’d just blown his entire world to hell.

He peaked out the door, saw it was all clear and made a hasty escape to the front of the pub to grab his jacket and tie. Should he leave? Head to the back room with a smile on his face and pretend he’d just arrived?

The choice was taken away from him when a gaggle of villagers pushed their way in, his mum and Chas leading the pack.

“There you are! Have you heard?” His mum was vibrating and he could tell she’d been crying.

“Heard what?” It was just a little lie.

“Adam proposed, right there in the middle of the dance floor. Moira recorded it. You have to see.” She turned around but got pulled away as more people came into the pub to offer congratulations. 

The commotion brought Vic rushing from the back, squealing when she saw him. She raced into Robert’s arms, squeezed him tight. It hit him at that moment that his baby sister was all grown up. She was ready to be a wife and make her own family. He hugged her tighter.

She sniffled when she pulled away.

“You happy?” He knew she was but he needed to make sure, it was his job after all.

“So happy, you have no idea.” She hugged him again quickly. “You and Andy, I want you to walk me down the aisle. Okay?”

“Of course.” They were both watery eyed and shared a small laugh over it. Adam appeared at her side, his hand stretched out. Robert took it, resisted the urge to crush the man’s fingers in warning.

“You’ll take good care of her.” 

Adam beamed, “I promise.”

“It wasn’t a question.” Robert enjoyed the slight fear he saw flash in Adam’s eyes, at least until Vic swatted him with her hands and pulled her fiancé away.

Robert finally got a chance to look around for Aaron, found him standing with his hands in his pockets watching something on Moira’s phone. He must have felt Robert’s heated gaze because he looked up, his face unreadable. It rooted Robert to the ground, made him unsure once again what the right move was. 

Andy chose that moment to knock into his shoulder, giving Robert no choice but to turn away. 

“When did she stop being 13?” His brother sounded just as gobsmacked as Robert felt. They both glanced at their sister, in her element as people fawned over her ring and offered their well wishes.

“I don’t know, but I don’t like it.” They grinned at each other.

“Right. Well, pint?”

He took one eventually, more for show than anything else. He’d had enough for the night, needed a clear head for when he’d finally get Aaron on his own. He couldn’t leave until he said...he wasn’t entirely sure what. He just needed Aaron to know.

The crowd didn’t last too long, everyone was full of booze and good cheer. Vic and Adam were huddled together at one end of the bar, lost in their own little world. Andy had disappeared, but his Mum and Chas were giggling over something. No doubt their mind’s already full of wedding plans. 

But it was Aaron his eye’s kept tracking. He was never alone, never far enough away from prying ears for Robert to get his chance. He waited until finally the mechanic approached the happy couple, hugged them both and walked quickly into the back.

Robert hoped no one noticed how fast he followed, catching Aaron as he was slinking you the stairs.

“Hey.” He watched Aaron freeze, his shoulders slump as he turned with a face Robert once again couldn’t read. It made something sick spread in his belly, panic rear its head. “You alright?”

“Yeah, just gonna crash here tonight. Give them some space.” 

“Look, Aaron….”

“We don’t have to do this okay. We were drunk and you were... I get it. It was a mistake. Let’s just pretend it never happened.”

_ No. _

“Aaron...”

“Young man, what the hell did you do to my kitchen?” Chas came around the corner spitting fire and Robert had to clench his fists so he wouldn’t scream. Why were their family members always showing up at the worst possible time?

“Actually, Chas…” He’d take the hit, hell he’d take 20 if he could just get a moment to explain to Aaron that he was wrong. 

He was so very very wrong.

“Go clean that up before Marlon gets a look at it.” Chas rolled her eyes, grabbing Robert by the arm and pulling him towards the front. “It’s such exciting news.”

He watched as Aaron, who avoided looking at him all together, jogged down the stairs and walked away. Every part of him felt the loss, but no more so when once again those blue eyes didn’t look back at him. 

“A night none of us will ever forget.” Chas smiled at Robert, unaware how true her words actually were.

* * *

Aaron hadn’t slept well. He’d just stared at the ceiling of his old bedroom and replayed the whole night over and over again. How quickly it had gone from the greatest experience of his life to every fear realized in a blink of an eye. 

He was made up for his mates, he was, but once again he wasn’t ready. Everything was about to change and he felt like he was sinking. He wanted to get swept up in all the joy but he’d already been carried away by the wave Robert had tossed him into.

Aaron watched everyone around him, legions of people between them. Robert looked cool and collected sipping a pint with his brother. Like what had happened didn’t matter, hadn’t changed his entire world like it had for Aaron. He couldn’t look at Robert again after that, it hurt too much.

He kept his head down, tried to smile when it was expected of him but no one paid his mood any mind. His scowl was what people were used to. He was more than happy to play the part.

He’d been coming back from the bathroom, had needed to splash some cold water on his face to center himself, when he heard Pearl and Val cackling at something.

“At least Sarah will get one of her children married off. Those boys of hers aren’t doing her any favours.” Pearl could be a viper on her best days, Val wasn’t much better.

“Especially that Robert. Always the heart breaker. Though I am sure Leyla doesn’t mind.” Val just giggled as Aaron shuffled by, uncaring who heard what she’d just said. It was the truth though wasn’t it? No one knew that better than him.

He’d had enough after that, plastered a pleasant look on his face when he hugged his best mates. He insisted he’d stay at the pub to give them some privacy. Victoria giggled into her glass of champagne and kissed his cheek. She was radiant and he hated himself for being envious of her. 

He’d almost made his escape when he heard Robert call to him, knew what he was about to say. Aaron needed to save face, gloss it over. He wouldn’t be the one to make this awkward, refused to be another heart to add to Robert’s hit list.

He rushed the words out, struck for a second at the look of shock on Robert’s face. Probably surprised that Aaron was going to be so easy to push aside. He’d never been more grateful for his mother and a reason to escape.

Back in the kitchen he methodically cleaned up the mess they’d made. He wiped down the floor as if it would erase the evening altogether. If only it were that easy, it couldn’t get any more difficult.

So he was staring at a ceiling and replaying it over and over in his head, unable to forget the way Robert had whispered his name. Like it had meant something. 

His mobile chirped, a message from Alex to say he was excited to finally meet in person. God, he’d forgotten all about it. For a second Aaron felt guilty, like he was cheating. On Robert. 

He sat up, angry at himself but more so at the man that had held Aaron’s heart in the palm of his hand for over a decade. Last night he got his answer. He’d always wondered and now he knew. He’d only be hurt in the end, already had been. What he’d said before, it being a stupid drunken mistake, was right.

Today was the start of him moving on and letting go of childhood fantasies. Everyone else was growing up, it was time he did too.

* * *

Robert had made a decision at around 6:00am, sleep something that refused to come easily with all the thoughts swirling around him. He was going to talk to Aaron, be honest about what he felt and what he hoped they could be.

What was the worst thing that could happen?

Other than Aaron laughing in his face, or trying to let Robert down gently. The thought horrified him, his stomach turning in knots. Still everytime he closed his eyes he saw Aaron’s smiling face and felt the ghost of fingers pulling him closer. It was worth the risk, it just had to be. He couldn’t be the only one who felt the magnitude of what they were.

Robert had never let fear run his life, he’d always chased what he wanted. More often than not he got it and that had to count for something. He was hopeful for the first time since he’d locked eyes with Aaron on that layby. He could see his future and it was a scowling mechanic with soft lips.

He didn’t sleep long after that, his mum shaking him awake, mumbling about needing a hand dismantling the hall. Robert barely had time to shower before she had shuffled both him and Andy into the car.

“Mum, you know we have a farm right? Things need doing.” Andy was in a right mood, scowling in the front seat. Robert would have to find out what that was about later. Maybe things hadn’t gone as well as hoped between his brother and Debbie. 

“Pete’s on today, we don’t pay him for nothing.” Their mum used her no nonsense voice, it meant the conversation was over.

Andy just grumbled some more and was out of the car before the car was parked, stomping into the hall and taking his mood with him.

“Robert?”

“Don’t worry Mum, I’ll get it out of him.”

She made a huffing sound and disappeared inside. Thus started hours of stacking chairs, folding tables and taking down lights. Robert kept his mouth shut as Andy twisted them into a pile and shoved them into boxes. He let himself imagine next year sitting with Aaron again, closer this time. Whispering to each other as they put the fairy lights to rights again.

God, he felt good. Excited. A little nervous but that was to be expected wasn’t it? But he was ready and nothing was going to bring him down. 

“Come on, let’s get a drink.” Andy shoved him from behind, pushed him towards the door.

“Can we eat something?”

“I don’t bloody care.”

So it was bad as all that was it? Robert had longer legs but he had to hustle to keep up with his brother. They were on a mission, Andy to get sloshed and Robert to find out why. Vic was behind the bar, engagement glow in full effect. Her face fell when Andy didn’t even acknowledge her, instead sitting at a table and putting his head in his hands.

“Debbie?” She looked at Robert nervously.

“Not sure yet, but probably. Can we get some burgers with our beer?”

“I’ll bring them over, go make sure he’s okay.”

Robert hadn’t even sat down before Andy was looking at him through his fingers.

“Bloody Charity Dingle. She’s messed up my life again.”

“How?”

“We had such a great night, then Vic got engaged and Deb took the kids home. By the time I went over to check on them she found out her mum had bailed on her once again. She started crying about people always letting her down and asked me to leave.” 

Shit, it _ was _as bad as all that. Robert leaned towards his brother. “So what did you do?”

“I left. There’s no talking to Deb when she’s like that. Trust me. All the progress we’ve made just gone.” Andy rubbed at his face. “I need the loo.”

Robert watched him go, worried his brother was being a little over dramatic. He just needed to talk with his ex, have a real conversation. 

Vic appeared, pints in hand.

“He going to be okay?” Her ring sparkled in the light, and it made him smile.

“I got this one, don’t worry.”

Vic leaned over him, put her cheek on the top of his head.

“Good. Usually Aaron’s the one that helps him with these funks but he’s got a hot date tonight with a fit doctor so I’m glad you’re here.” 

For a second Robert’s heart stopped, actually stopped long enough for him to wonder if this was the moment he’d die. Then it started again, and it hurt, like a shards of metal flowed through his chest. He was thankful Vic couldn’t see his face as he closed his eyes and tried to breathe.

“I’ll bring your food round when it’s ready.” He felt her squeeze his shoulder, and heard her rush away. He just kept staring at the empty space across from him. He was oddly numb all of sudden. 

“Rob?”

He blinked and Andy was sitting there, a concerned look on his face.

“You okay?”

He wasn’t, not even a little bit.

_ It was a mistake. _

* * *

Aaron let out a sigh of relief when the cab entered Emmerdale, his night almost officially over. It might have been the worst date of his life if he’d actually had a frame of reference to work off of. 

The place Alex had picked for dinner was kind of pretentious; Aaron felt out of place the moment he walked in. Alex was sitting at the bar waiting for him and the second their eyes met he knew it wasn’t going to work. He felt nothing, less than nothing, and they hadn’t even spoken a word to each other yet.

Aaron went in for a handshake while Alex kissed his cheek and they tried to make small talk as they waited for their table to be ready. Alex had a very soothing voice, the kind that could put you to sleep. He looked just like his profile photo so that was something at least.

It just got worse when they finally ordered, Alex insisting on picking Aaron’s beer and promising him he’d love it. He hated it, too bitter for his tastes, but he drank it so he wouldn’t appear rude.

He ordered the least fancy thing he could find on the menu, fish and chips, when Alex went into doctor mode. Aaron heard all about the adverse effects of a fatty liver to the point that the sight of his meal turned his stomach.

He tried to find common talking points but there wasn’t any. Alex was career focused, Aaron was anything but. Alex liked fine wine, museums and art galleries. Aaron wondered why he hadn’t seen any of that online, it would have made this night a whole lot easier.

At least Alex was attentive, wanting to know if the food was alright, if he was enjoying his beer, did Aaron want dessert? He made a quick escape to the loo, told himself to give Alex a chance. It wasn’t his fault he wasn’t Robert Sugden. That had been why Aaron picked him in the first place.

He headed back to their table promising himself he would try when he saw Alex standing at the front with their jackets in hand.

“I got the bill. There’s a great little bar near my place I’d love to take you too.” Alex had a smug look on his face, like Aaron should be swooning. 

That had been it. He’d made his excuses and was out catching a cab before Alex could say a damn thing about it.

It had been painful but at least it was over with. He’d done it and survived. The only reason it ended was because Aaron had pulled the plug. Alex had wanted him, the problem was Aaron hadn’t wanted him back.

He paid the driver and crossed the road to head inside the Woolpack. He’d promised Vic he’d give her a full rundown of his date, and though he wasn’t looking forward to it at least he could have a decent beer.

He entered through the side, stopping short when he saw Robert leaning against the wall by the bathroom. His hair was in disarray and he was staring at his mobile deep in thought. Aaron just froze, not expecting to have to see him again so soon. He forced an impassive look on his face that fell the instant their eyes met.

He’d never seen Robert look at anyone so coldly before.

“Well, someone’s home early. Date didn’t go well?” That voice that could be as rich as honey was full of disdain. 

“How did you…”

Robert waved his finger in the air. “Small village, nothing stays a secret for long.”

Aaron just shook his head; he didn’t know what game Robert was playing but he wasn’t interested. He tried to walk past, leave Robert behind the swinging doors and get on with pretending. A grip on his arm stopped him dead, Robert suddenly too close and whispering in his ear.

“Was he a mistake too?” 

Robert didn’t give him a chance to respond as he crowded Aaron back. Long fingers held his neck, tipped his chin up so they were eye to eye. He should feel trapped, but he didn’t, he felt alive.

_ Wanted. _

He could only tremble when Robert’s fingers danced across his face, Aaron caught off guard by the feather light caress. He could smell the alcohol. Robert was drunk again, that’s all this was. Had to be.

“It wasn’t you know, not to me.” Robert’s thumb skimmed over his lips and Aaron felt a shiver run through them both. “You could never be a mistake.”

He knew he’d regret it but Aaron couldn’t stop himself. He closed the short distance between them and slid his hands back into soft blonde hair. This kiss was different than the ones before, soft and searching, almost tentative. Robert pulled away too soon, Aaron’s mouth chasing after him.

Fingers caressed his cheeks again, he closed his eyes against the sensation. He felt the word before he heard it, a breath on his lips. 

“Beautiful.”

Robert kissed him once more, pushed him against the wall, demanded everything. Aaron was drowning, let himself forget who they were and what it could destroy. Let himself pretend this meant just as much to the man in his arms as it did to him. Maybe it did, maybe it could.

Then something knocked into both of them, something heavy that had Robert pulling away. Aaron missed him instantly.

“Aaron!” It was Andy, barely able to stand up straight, reaching out to hug him. “You’re so smart you know that.”

“Andy, are you okay?” Aaron let his friend lean on him, afraid he was going to drop to the ground, his mind unable to grasp what was happening.

“Look, give us a moment…” Robert pulled his brother off Aaron, tried to shuffle him back out the door.

“I have the best brothers don’t I? I do. I’m gonna be more like you both. Play the free, be the fields. Yep. Who needs love right?” Andy swayed a bit as Robert held his arms out to steady him.

“Seriously, Andy I need a minute to...” 

“Nope, Vic said we had to leave. She gave me the mum look, you know the one.” Andy shuddered before looping his arms around both of them.

Aaron looked at Andy’s face, the sadness and the pain written all over it. He’d seen it all before. Something had happened with Debbie, he just didn’t know what. Probably another mess that they would all try to fix and stay out of at the same time. Too many people intertwined in that relationship. Just like him and Robert. There was a reason their families kept showing up, interfering. Life was trying to tell them something.

“Andy, if you would just...” Robert was losing patience with his brother and Aaron knew what he needed to do.

“Take him home.” It was just a whisper but Robert heard him.

They locked eyes and he saw the question there. Andy was still hanging between them, unaware that Aaron was breaking his own damn heart. Whatever Robert saw on Aaron’s face had him shaking his head.

“Aaron, please…” That voice sounded so sad, and he told himself he was saving Robert again. Saving them both. But still he had to look away, couldn’t face it.

“Robert, just take him home.” Aaron then ducked out of Andy’s hold, pushed through the doors and fought everything in him that screamed at him to turn back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I couldn't wait to post this so it's not edited. I know some people were surprised by what happened in the last chapter and might be by this one as well. The last chapter is going to be longer than normal but I promise it's all going exactly as I imagined in my head from the start. I hope you're enjoying the ride. You remain my favourite people.


	9. Show You How

It was a cool morning. Summer wasn’t going to last much longer, taking with it more than just the sun. Aaron sat spread on the sofa, hoodie sleeves over his hands as he stared at his phone. He’d made a decision last night after he’d left Robert and his heart behind, after he’d given Victoria a recount of his date and gone home to crawl into bed.

He needed to move. It made the most sense. It would save Vic and Adam asking him to go so they could start their life together. It would save Aaron from running into Robert around every corner. He’d still work in Emmerdale, he’d still be here for those he loved, only this way he’d have some breathing space. It wasn’t like there were places in this village available anyway, at least not any that Aaron could afford. But if he left then he’d get passed this, finally.

“Whatcha doing?” He hadn’t heard Victoria sneak up on him, her face appearing suddenly over his shoulder. He thought he had hours before she’d be awake. No one was up except for farmers, their sheep and those trying to move on with their life. “Why are you looking at apartments in Hotten?”

He attempted to hide his phone but she was quick, snatching it from his hands.

“Hey!” 

She flopped on the sofa, tucked her ridiculously fuzzy slippers under his thigh.

“Are you moving out?” Her voice was so soft he didn’t want to look at her.

“It’s time don’t you think?” He glanced over then, hating himself when he saw the concern on her face.

“But why?” She held his phone out for him to take. “Is this about meeting someone? Because there’s…”

“Vic, you and Adam are engaged. I’m just planning for the inevitable.” He shoved his phone in his hoodie pocket, wanted to sink into the cushions and hide.

“What does that even mean?” 

“You’re getting married, the last thing you both are going to want is your mate living down the hall. You’re going to want…”

“You know we have sex right? A lot of it.”

“Ugh, what the…”

“Well we do and you’ve been down the hall most of the time.” She laughed, whereas Aaron would have given anything if he never had to make eye contact with her ever again. “So give me another excuse.” Her voice was suddenly fierce, the one that always scared him a little.

It’d been years since they’d had a fight, which had lasted five minutes and he couldn’t even remember what it was about. Sometimes it was annoying that she knew him better than anyone else.

“You’re going to want kids soon aren’t yah?” Vic had always loved babies; she was going to be an amazing mum. He’d never get in the way of that.

“Again, I am not seeing how you at the breakfast table is going to change any of that.” She sighed and curled in closer to him. “If you go because it’s what you want fine, but Adam and I love you. You’re family. I’d make you live with me forever if I could.” 

“Yeah?” He refused to admit there were tears in his eyes. Had he always been this sappy?

“Of course. Where would I be without my daily dose of Grumpy?” He felt her press her cheek into his shoulder before pulling back. “Is this about Robert?”

He froze, his mind blank, and for a second he debated just running out the door, changing his name and living life on the lam.

“I thought so, you haven’t been yourself since he got back. Something happened didn’t it?” She poked him in the chest, demanded an answer. He knew well enough to give in.

“Just a kiss but it didn’t mean anything. We were drunk.” He still refused to look at her, but he could feel her eyes on him, knew she was putting the puzzle pieces together.

“Right. So you’re planning to move out of the village and Robert goes from my smiling big brother to glowering and ordering a double whisky the moment I tell him you’re on a date _ but it didn’t mean anything. _”

He looked her dead in the eye then.

“He did?”

She smiled at him and nodded. He bit his lip, did _ it _ mean something? Maybe? It was still too messy, too many people were wrapped up in it. The simple fact they were even having this conversation was proof of that.

“It doesn’t matter.” He went back to looking at his hands, wished he could reverse time. Then he never would have walked into that kitchen, never let himself start this stupid crush on his best mate’s brother.

Victoria hummed a little, moved away from him again.

“Do you know what I felt when I was on that dance floor and I realized that Adam was getting down on one knee?” She rubbed at his arm and he shrugged his shoulders.

“Finally?” Aaron was pretty sure that’s what the entire village had been thinking.

She gave him a soft laugh, “No, I was petrified.”

He gave her a confused look, she loved Adam, of course she did. Didn’t she?

“I love him and yes, I want to marry him. But in that moment I was so scared. It’s all I’ve ever wanted, him and us, a family. Ever since I was a little girl. What if I messed it up? What if I got it wrong and I hurt myself, or him?” She put her hand over his. “Or everyone else I love?”

“But…”

“Nothing is perfect Aaron, nothing in life is a guarantee. Except you and me, mates for life remember?” They grinned at each other, he wondered if he told her enough how lucky he was to have her.

“Vic, it could all go so wrong.” If Robert could hurt him this much now how badly would his heart break if Aaron handed it over willingly?

“Did you stop being there for Andy when he and Debbie broke up over and over again?” 

“Of course not.”

“What if I went upstairs right now and gave Adam back his ring, would you stop loving me? Would you stop being his mate?” 

He gave her a horrified look, “No, but it’s not the same.”

“Why? You don’t think we all love you just as much?”

He opened his mouth and then closed it again, sighed as she nudged him.

“It’s official, you’ve become your mum.”

She giggled and something in his chest lightened. It felt a little like hope.

“I know it’s scary. I do. But Aaron, isn’t he worth trying? Aren’t you? Because it’s not just a crush, not anymore.”

He wanted to ask her if she’d always known, but she was Vic, of course she had. He looked at her again and she gave him an earnest nod.

“I gotta go.” He jumped up from the sofa, already hunting for his car keys. He stopped at the front door, walked back to look at her again. 

“You’re a pain in my arse but you know I love you right?” He rarely said it but she knew.

She shot him a wink, “Obviously.”

Then he turned around and raced out the door.

* * *

Robert laid in bed listening to his brother get ready to start his day with the sun. He’d not gotten used to living with other people again. His mum could sleep through anything, Robert not so much.

He was amazed Andy was even still alive, Robert basically carrying him all the way home. He hadn’t been drunk, regardless of what Aaron had probably thought. He’d just been disappointed and hurt, and jealous. He let that get the better of him.

There was no denying it now, Aaron didn’t want him. Well maybe for a quick shag but not for anything else. Robert couldn’t be too surprised could he? He’d gone out with a doctor, what was Robert compared to that? Nothing but a farm boy. He lived with his mother for God’s sake. 

He’d seen what he’d wanted to see. Maybe he’d felt so much that it made him think that Aaron had to feel the same way. He wasn’t the London playboy anymore and he needed to start remembering that. He’d come home so he could be himself again, that Robert hadn’t measured up.

He just needed to figure out a way to live with that.

He could smell coffee wafting up from the kitchen, decided sleep was no longer a part of his future and made his way downstairs. Andy was sitting at the table, slumped over the cup in his hands. He looked up at Robert with sad eyes.

“Did I wake you?”

“Nah, you’re alright.” He got a mug for himself, mirrored Andy’s dejected state when he took the chair beside him.

“How you feeling?” Andy just groaned in response, but Robert wasn’t sure if it was his hangover or his heart that was giving him trouble.

They sipped in silence but he could feel his brother watching him.

“What?”

“This is gonna sound crazy but...did I see you and Aaron...were you kissing?” Andy gave a small chuckle, like he didn’t actually believe it. Robert just closed his eyes and sighed.

“You didn’t.”

“Andy…”

“Jesus, he’s basically our brother.”

“Not to me!” He slammed his cup on the table, swore when hot liquid sloshed over his hand. He got up and grabbed a towel, wiped at his pink skin. “Don’t worry about it. He’s not interested.”

“Not from what I saw.” Andy leaned back in his chair, studied Robert for a moment. “What were you thinking?”

Robert threw the towel on the counter, ran his hand through his hair.

“I wasn’t okay, I just...wasn’t. I haven’t been able to think properly since I got back. He’s everywhere with his perfect scowling face and that gorgeous fucking laugh. And that smile...”

“Holy shit, you’re in love with him.” 

Robert gave his brother a hard look.

“No, I’m not.”

“Rob, I think you are.”

He turned to brace himself against the counter, too much running through his head. Did he? Was he? Probably. Yes.

_ Fuck. _

“It doesn’t matter. He doesn’t feel the same way, he’s made that perfectly clear. He wants to pretend it never happened so that’s what I am going to do.”

“No, you’re not.”

Robert looked over his shoulder.

“Come on man, Aaron’s had a thing for you his entire life. Everybody knows that.” Andy was smiling at him, genuine and happy. Had he been listening to Robert at all?

“No, he hasn’t.”

“Trust me. You haven’t been here. I have.” 

Robert felt warm for a second, the idea that Aaron had been smitten once upon a time. Until he’d grown up, until he’d seen Robert for who he really was.

“Well it was just a crush. It’s over now.”

“Rob, sit down.” Andy used his Jack voice, the stern one that had them snapping to attention as teenagers. It must have been muscle memory because he did as he was told.

“You have to tell him how you feel. He probably thinks you’re just looking for a good time. Or maybe…”

Robert held up his hand, “Maybe you should take your own advice.”

“What?”

“Go talk to Debbie. Lay it out there. Finally once and for all. You two have been dancing around each other for too long. Put on your big boy trousers and show her you mean it.”

Andy opened his mouth but no sound came out. He rubbed at his beard.

“I will if you will.”

“Sorry brother, we don’t all get happy endings.” And that was the truth Robert was just going to have to accept.

Andy looked at him and then broke out into a huge smile.

“Yeah. Yeah I will.” He got up from the table, but stopped in the doorway. “You going to be alright?”

“I don’t know.” It was the only answer he had to give. “Now go get your family back.”

He watched Andy leave, happy for him. His gut told him it was going to work out, then again it hadn’t been working properly for him recently. God, love sure did kick your ass didn’t it. 

He needed more coffee, stared out the window as he took a large sip. Today was the first day of moving on. He’d figure out how. He was Robert _ bloody _Sugden wasn’t he? When had that stopped feeling like enough?

He heard the front door open, assumed it was Pete, and continued to look out over the fields. It was going to be a beautiful day, maybe that would help.

“You terrify me.” Robert almost choked on his mouthful, whirled around to see Aaron standing there with an intense look in his eyes. He was in ratty sweatpants, a baggy hoodie and his hair was a mess. He looked perfect

“Aaron, what are you...”

“Just let me say this okay, I need to say this.” Aaron shoved his hands into his hoodie pocket as Robert leaned back against the counter. He didn’t think his legs were working properly. He gripped his mug tighter and nodded for Aaron to continue.

“You’ve been everywhere my whole life, even when you weren’t here you were. I always knew it was just a crush, it had to be right? I was fine with it, it was fine. Then you came back and you were so...you.” Aaron’s face got soft for a second and Robert wanted to wrap his arms around him. Wanted to bury his face in Aaron’s neck and breathe him in. “And you’re still everything I want, but you’re more than that, and I never thought it could be more. It scares me, what I feel for you, how you make me feel.”

Robert put his cup down, his hands were shaking. He realized he was standing there, listening to the love of his life confess his feelings, in nothing but a worn tee shirt and some ratty boxer shorts. No suit, no armour and still Aaron wanted him. Just him.

“Please say something.” Aaron was biting his lip, his eyes wide and Robert had to touch him. Just had to. He moved slowly, afraid for a second that he would do something to wreck this, end it before it began. When he held Aaron’s cheeks in the palms of his hand they both sighed.

“Robert…”

“I’m pretty sure I’m in love with you.” He searched Aaron’s eyes and saw nothing but blue and wonder. He took a deep breath and kept going. “I’ve never felt this before, ever, for anyone. I don’t know what to do with it but give it to you because it’s everything I never knew I wanted. I don’t know what will happen but I’m almost certain my family, our family, will choose you if it doesn’t work out. I don’t care as long as you never stop smiling at me. No matter what happens, that will be enough. It makes anything else that comes after worth it.”

“Okay.” Aaron blinked are him, his lips tilting up into that smile. The one that made Robert want to move mountains to be worthy of it.

“Okay.” 

They just stood there, Aaron’s hands coming up to hold Robert’s wrists. He kept sweeping his thumbs across Aaron’s cheeks, simply because he was allowed to. He didn’t know how long they stayed like that, he was afraid to break the spell.

“So, are you going to kiss me or…” Aaron smirked at him and Robert lost another little piece of his heart.

“Shut up.”

But he did, leaned forward and tried to show Aaron exactly how he felt, every ounce of it. Aaron whimpered into his mouth and Robert pulled him closer. It was perfect, he was perfect and…

“I knew it!”

Robert groaned at the sound of his mother’s excited voice and mourned the loss of Aaron’s mouth when he pulled away. He was going to murder them all, his entire bloody family, they were relentless in ruining his life. Yet when he opened his eyes Aaron was beaming at him, linking their fingers together before peaking over Robert’s shoulder.

“Morning, Sarah.”

* * *

Pearl Ladderbanks watched Victoria Barton smiling behind the bar, her hand rubbing over the small bump under her chef’s jacket. They were saying she was five months along, but the wedding had been five months ago and Pearl hadn’t seen Victoria drink a drop of champagne that night.

Not that it was any of her business, because it certainly wasn’t. She did, however, have a friendly wager with Val that baby Barton would be a month “early.” Time would tell.

Pearl didn’t usually have lunch in the Woolpack, especially on her day off, but she’d been hoping to catch that Robert around. She’d finally gotten one of those fancy mobile phones with a camera and video calling. She just didn’t know how to send or post anything. Robert was always kind enough to help her when she was having issues with her computer. He was a good lad.

Over a year ago when it’d come out that the heartbreaker was head over feet in love with Aaron, well Pearl hadn’t been surprised. She’d always known that Dingle would turn out well. He might be a moody one but he was a softy under it all. He never charged her full price for an oil change and just the other day he’d helped her carry her shopping from the car. He still rarely smiled, unless his Robert was with him, then it was all he seemed to do.

Chas had said that the two of them were almost finished their new cottage. Both families had spent months helping convert a barn at the Sugden farm for the pair. Pearl didn’t support living in sin, but times usually changed. Val was constantly telling her to catch up, hence the new phone. Hopefully she’d have the blanket she was knitting for Vic done (in blue, she knew it was a boy, had a feeling about it) before the place was finished. She might make some flower baskets for the lads. Every home should have flowers.

Besides, knowing them the only way she’d get a look inside was if she brought an offering.

They were secretive those two, always whispering in corners or just looking at each other like they had a secret. Young love, she remembered it well.

She fiddled with her phone some more, took a picture of her glass of white wine. She was getting pretty good at it so far, her great niece was always sharing photos of food. Pearl had no idea why and though she didn’t normally drink during the day she could make exceptions. 

She glanced up when she heard the door open, glad to see the young men stroll in. Aaron nodded at her but Robert had a deadly look on his face.

Maybe now wasn’t the time to…

“I thought he was the scowling one in your relationship.” Victoria smiled at her brother but her face dropped slightly when he glared back at her.

“Don’t mind him Vic, he’s just being an idiot.” Aaron sure was a handsome fellow, even in his tied off coveralls and grease on his shirt. Especially when he was looking smug.

“I am not.” Robert turned to Aaron, the two of them just standing there right in front of her. She glanced around. She felt like something big was about to happen, and it seemed she’d be the only one to see it. It’d been a while since any village drama had gone down in the Woolpack. Especially a fight.

She looked at her phone and hoped she didn’t look suspicious as she hit video record and angled it their way. For Val, of course.

“Just let it go.”

“He asked for your number right in front of me. Who does that?” Robert still pouted the way he did when he’d been a wee one. Pearl almost expected him to stomp his foot.

“I didn’t give it to him did I?” Aaron took the pint Vic slid his way, eyed his boyfriend over the brim.

“That’s not the point.”

“Now Robert, you’re overreacting.” Vic reached her hand across the bar towards her brother but the look he sent her had her stepping back with an amused expression.

“It was pretty obvious who I was, I asked you if you were ready to go for lunch. To finalize paint colours. For _ our _ house.” Robert was tapping his fingers on his thigh faster and faster as he talked.

Pearl watched Aaron sigh, put his glass down.

“He probably thought you were a mate. It’s not like I wear a bloody neon sign that says _ Property of Robert Sugden _.”

“Well maybe you should.” 

Pearl grimaced at that, knew their Aaron wouldn’t take kindly to such talk. She was right.

“How about a shirt that says, _ I’m with stupid _?”

Pearl watched Robert pull something out of his pocket and slam it on the bar.

“How about you just wear this?”

Pearl was almost certain she wasn’t the only one who gasped at the sight of the leather ring box. She gave up being discreet after that, holding her phone up higher for a better look.

“Is that?”

“Yeah.”

“Rob…” Pearl saw Aaron’s eyes get soft, that rare smile of his coming out. 

“I was planning on doing this right you know. Been thinking about it for weeks. Then that stupid Jason…”

“Jamie.”

“Seriously, Aaron?”

The mechanic’s smile grew.

“Sorry, you were saying?”

Robert sighed, messed up his hair with his hand. Pearl could see Vic in the background with her fingers over her mouth as she cried. So dramatic that one, had been ever since she was a little girl.

“Well…what do you think?” Robert’s voice was barely audible, Pearl hoped her phone would pick it up.

“About what? You ain’t asked me anything.” If she didn’t know better she would have said there were tears in Aaron’s eyes.

“Dammit, do you want me to get down on one knee? I will, right here...” Robert stepped back and started to kneel but Aaron grabbed him by the arms, hauled him back upright.

“Don’t you bloody dare.” 

They just looked at each other for a second, Pearl wondered if they even remembered where they were. It was sweet.

“Yes. You know it's always yes.” Pearl watched Aaron sniff, wipe at his eyes with the sleeve of his shirt.

“I didn’t ask yet.”

“Do you want me to say no?”

Robert took Aaron’s face in his hands. They whispered something to each other but she couldn’t make it out. Then they were kissing and laughing, and all hell broke loose.

Pearl stopped recording, she didn’t want to get found out. It wasn't so she could wipe at her own eyes. Certainly not. Chas started shrieking in excitement and soon more and more people were in the pub. Andy ran in with Debbie and the kids close on his heels. He hugged his brother so hard he lifted Robert clear off his feet.

When Sarah walked in she was a blubbering mess, kept saying _ my boys _over and over again as she let tears run down her face.

Pearl drank two glasses of the free champagne that was going around, she couldn’t be rude. Eventually she made her way to the young pair when the commotion calmed down. They were just looking at each other and smiling at a corner table, but it was a sight most of Emmerdale was used to by now. 

“Congratulations.”

“Thanks, Pearl.” Robert beamed at her. She simply kissed their upturned cheeks and headed back to her table. She wanted to leave them in peace. No doubt it wouldn’t last long. The village did love a Dingle do.

Then she remembered something, stopped and turned back again.

“Oh, Robert?”

He looked up at her, his eyes twinkling.

“Yes?”

“When you get a moment, no rush of course, could you show me how to upload a video to that Facebook thing? There’s something I want to share.”**  
**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And there we have it. You're all amazing, and your comments never cease to make me laugh or clap in delight. Thank you for reading! Hope you enjoyed it.

**Author's Note:**

> [@some-mad-lunge](https://some-mad-lunge.tumblr.com/) on Tumblr. Come say hi!


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